Tips to Keep Disappointment From Dragging You Down
Hi! My name is Coach Jimmy and I am coming to you live from Dallas, Texas. A little bit about myself if you are a first timer checking out one of my videos. Thank you for subscribing and liking and commenting because I love to know who is watching my videos. But before getting into business almost nine years ago, I found myself as a 3 time college dropout drowning in probably over $60,000 in debt, 100lbs overweight, and living back at home with my parents in my early twenties. So my background wasn’t that of success. In fact, my background was that of disappointment, a lot of disappointment and disappointment that I brought upon myself a lot, but I wanted to blame other people. I wanted to point fingers.
Since then, by taking control of my body and losing 100lbs and keeping it off for going on 10 years now, it taught me some lessons that bled over into my mindset, into being able to start a business, to be able to create a seven figure online business, to be able to get us out of debt, to bring my wife home from her corporate job, and now we live as a big happy family at home. Two kiddos. I have got a 5 year old son and a brand new 1 month old baby daughter.
Today we are talking about how to deal with disappointment and there maybe something in your life that you are dealing with right now that you are building towards. Maybe it is weight loss. Maybe you’re working on improving your nutrition or you started that work out regime. Maybe you got an in home program like INSANITY or maybe you are going to the gym or hitting up spin class. Maybe you really have this calling that you are supposed to do something more than what you are currently in. Maybe right now you are in a 9 to 5 job that pays the bills, but it isn’t fulfilling and you feel like you really are called to do something bigger with your life and maybe you have already taken steps in that direction.
Maybe it’s creating a course.
Maybe it’s starting that podcast.
Maybe it’s creating Youtube channel or a membership site.
Maybe it’s starting getting involved with a home business or a network marketing business where you are promoting products that you really believe in.
So I don’t know what that is, but I am going to tell you that if you are working on creating something bigger than yourself, if you’re really putting forth the effort to change your reality, then I am going to guarantee you one thing in life.
Disappointment is Unavoidable
You are going to deal with disappointment.
You are going to deal with disappointment because it’s so easy that we get these flashes of motivation, we get these flashes of inspiration, of things that we are going to do. We are going to do something bigger than ourselves. We are going to build a business. We are going to open a gym studio. We are going to start that podcast and it sounds great!
So therefore while it just stays in our brain and then for some of us, we decide, “Hey, I got to take a baby step. I need to take a step out of my comfort zone and move towards this thing,” and so you start taking the steps. You take out the business loan or you start the home business or you start recording that podcast or you put or you put up that first video on YouTube and there’s crickets.
Nobody liked that you poured your heart into a video, you pored you heart into an audio recording, maybe you wrote that Ebook, something happened and you’re disappointed. You thought this was going to be life changing. It’s like that perfect face book post, right?
You spend an hour on Canva making that perfect image or that perfect quote and you are like, “This is going to kill!” and you throw it up there and it’s just like, nothing. Nobody. And even worse, you start moving in a direction…so maybe you are taking control of your health and fitness and you are really trying to prove yourself and those people that are right around you, maybe it’s a spouse, maybe it’s your best girlfriend, maybe it’s those co-workers that you hang out with, instead of rooting you on, the people that you want the most support from, they are your biggest detractors. I mean, do you feel me?
Am I the only person that’s ever gone through this?
Watch out for the naysayers
That the people that I know love me the most, that I know that I am counting on to be my biggest cheerleader, are the ones that are completely…the ones that roll their eyes. “Why are you doing that thing? Why are you taking time away from the family? If I have to hear you talk about this endeavor one more time.”
What about this one?
“I am tired of your positive attitude all the time lately.”
Like for real?! But I hear it! I hear it all the time that people like, “Oh you and your happy post, You and your new venture. You and…” like they want to hate on you for doing something positive in your life.
So how do you deal with disappointment?
Dealing With Disappointment in Others
So I will share a story this morning on a very small note, but this is what sparked me wanting to talk about this today. Different times during the week I had different people that I meet up with to work out. So I try to get out of the house lately to work out and I am a pretty social creature and you know obviously somebody who has lost 100 pounds, I like to think that I have discipline to do my workout whether or not I with somebody or by myself. There have been plenty of solo workouts in my life.
However, this morning I knew I was supposed to have a workout partner and so I usually get to the gym a little bit early to warm up and I jumped on the stepmill and I am usually doing some kind of business training or watching a podcast or watching you know a video on YouTube and I was just wrapping up. It was going to be a leg day, it was going to be heavy leg day, and so I needed some support and right about the time I finished on the stepmill, I had a text saying, “I am not making it today.”
And I was bummed. I was like “Uhh,” because if you ever need a friend, you need a friend on leg day. You need somebody to push you through that and I will be really honest, I am like, “You know what? I did my 20 – 25 minutes on the stepmill, I am just going to leave. I am just going to go home. I don’t feel like lifting these weights by myself. I am going to leave,” and I had to stop and go, “Hold on. Was I here for a social hour or was I here to build something that I have a goal for? What can I do? What would I do right now? What would I tell somebody that I was mentoring or that I work with in the same situation?”
And I would tell them to move their ass and do what…I am like, “I am already in the gym!” I am like sitting there staring at weights and I still wanted to go home and it really just got me thinking about how do you deal with disappointment because I think a lot of people get disappointed and stop. People get disappointed because that person said something negative, they got that negative comment on Facebook or you know somebody gave them…there is always the one person, I don’t understand this, there is always the one person on YouTube the one thumbs down. I want to know who that guy is! I can have a thousand yes’s and I have the one thumbs down on my video and it’s always like one. I don’t know who that person is. Don’t be that person.
But how do you deal with disappointment?
Do you let it just completely derail you?
Do you let a negative comment from somebody completely like just throw you off course?
Do you let that specifically, if it’s coming from somebody that’s close to you, that sibling, that parent, that spouse, maybe it’s your kids, saying something negative. Do you let that completely derail you and take you out of your momentum?
Remind Yourself of Your ‘Why’
I am going to really challenge you that you got to stop. You got to stop and remember why am I doing this. Why am I doing this? Why did I get started? And then I also think about the source. So right now, it’s never been easier for people to lob snarky, snide comments than it is now. With technology and with social media, it’s so easy to roll your eyes at somebody via some kind of message, via you know something negative. It’s just look at it. Your Facebook Newsfeed.
Mine sometimes gets to be like 80% people complaining and bitching about something. In fact that’s why I…if you use Chrome there is a killer plug-in called Kill the Newsfeed. My Facebook Newsfeed is dead. I put it in this plug-in so I don’t have a Newsfeed. I get on my Facebook to do my work and get off, because I have to protect this. I have to protect my vision. I have to protect what it is that I am building and sometimes the thing you’re building will impact a ton of people and those people won’t be the ones that you think are the ones that should come along with you.
Not Everyone Understands You
So listen to me real quick. So you are designed to build something big that will impact a lot of people. Those people may not be the people closest to you and that’s a hard realization sometimes that what I am building, and what I have been building over the past 8 and a half years, may not impact my family. May not impact my best friends, the ones that I want the most success for whether it’s physically, whether it’s financially, whether it’s getting involved in the business that I am in, the people that I would love, like I would love to do this with you and they’ve been some of my biggest critics! They have been the eye rollers. They have been the people that don’t…they just don’t get it.
And so I have a choice right there. I have a choice to say, “Well, I can’t even reach my parents or my brother or my sister doesn’t even listen to me. Then how am I going to help anybody else?”
And I am telling you, you will. Because what happens is when you decide to start a new endeavor in life you’re…again, you’re writing that book, you’re creating the musical, you’re starting the podcast, you’re starting the YouTube show, you jump into a home business that you really believe in or a network marketing business or whatever it is that you are doing online, you’re starting webinars to teach people a lesson or something that you are passionate about, that the people that are closest to you knew you before you started this endeavor. Before I was “Coach Jimmy”, my family and my closest friends knew me as the 100 lbs overweight, 3 time college dropout that quit a lot of stuff, that blamed other people, that was super negative at times, and so they are just waiting for that guy to show up again. They’re just waiting for me to give up, to blame somebody else, they have seen me mess up before.
My family, my best friends, they have been the eye rollers. They have been the people that just don’t get it.
All of a sudden I say that I am coaching people. Well, they are going to say, “Well who are you to coach somebody Jimmy? Who are you to coach somebody while you are still 100 lbs overweight? Who are you to coach somebody about business when you are $60,000 in debt? Who are you to…” And maybe there is a question you are asking yourself right now. Who am I to talk about this? I am not an expert yet. And I am telling you, you don’t have to be an expert yet to do something.
Keep Telling Your Story
I heard recently my buddy James Wedmore has a great podcast and he talks about, “Look, if you’re not an authority, then you’re writing your story. If you are not an authority then you are writing your story and you can still serve other people in the midst of writing that story.”
Look I don’t have it all figured out guys. We have a level of success, but my journey is not over. You know what I am saying?
I hear that all the time when it comes to health and fitness. “Oh, once I reach my goal then I can help other people. Once I reach…” Dude I have lost 100 lbs and I still haven’t reach my physical goals. In fact, I am working harder on myself physically now than I did when I started 100 lbs ago. I am working harder on my business now with a 7 figure business than I did when I made the investment to get started. You see what I am saying?
This is a journey and you have to learn to embrace the journey and know that…the thing that I find that’s really funny is somebody that finds me that’s a complete stranger will hang on my every word, will look at me as an authority immediately, yet my family or my friends that have known me forever they just don’t.
They don’t look at me as an authority.
They don’t look at me as somebody that can help them, that can coach them, that can lead them, and so you have to fight through that disappointment of the people closest to you and don’t let that derail you. Don’t let that define whether or not you can serve other people that you can impact other people and have a really serious impact on somebody else’s life. It’s never been easier to find that audience to find that person that’s looking for you than now. You can jump on something like periscope, that you can stream on a Facebook live feed, that you can post on Facebook, that you can start a YouTube show, that you can start a podcast right now.
Not Everyone is Looking For You
Because I look at it this way, I had a mentor a long time ago when it came to “Join me in my business,” or “Become a part of my team,” that I don’t have to be in the convincing business. I don’t have to drag somebody in. I don’t have to handle all their objections and sneaky get them in because you know what? I am only looking for the people that are looking for me. That’s it!
And whether you believe it or not, where you are right now in your story if you would share that, there is somebody right now who thinks they are all alone in their current struggle, that thinks that they have nobody to relate to, and you are that person. You’re not that person 15 lbs from now. You are not that person $1,000 from now or $20,000 from now or out of debt from there now or you are not that person once that podcast gets 1,000 listens. You are that person now that they are looking for. They just don’t know you exist because you become timid with sharing your story.
So any time I am dealing with disappointment, I have to jump right back into activation mode. I have to jump right back into serving other people because it’s so easy to look at our own situation, our own disappointment, our own insecurities, our own negative head chatter, and that will derail you. That will stop you. That will sit in your disappointment like quicksand and that stuff will just eat at you.
So if I am dealing with something negative, if I am judging myself, if I am in a bad head space, I immediately need to go invest in somebody else.
There is somebody right now that thinks they are all alone and they have no one to relate to and you’re that person right now. They just don’t know you exist because you’re too timid to share your story!
I immediately need to help somebody who was me two or three steps ago.
Another mentor who I am just…I love her to death is Chalene Johnson. If you are not following Chalene Johnson, you are just missing out. Chalene talks about the lifer, that person that wants to work with you forever and ever and ever. I am one of Chalene’s lifers. But she is like, “The people that are going to be with you forever and ever and ever and work with you and follow you and buy your product or watch your show or be totally plugged in, they are you three steps ago.”
Find the People That Need You
So regardless of where you are…so let’s say that you are…you still feel like you have lost five pounds, but you still feel like you have 25 pounds to go or you’ve made a $100 with your business but you still have thousands of dollars to go. Well, there is somebody who hasn’t lost any weight yet and there is somebody who hasn’t made any money yet. So you are a few steps ahead of that individual. So if you would just teach what it is that you are going through, you are serving the person that’s two or three steps behind you. Does that makes sense?
I really need you to catch this concept and this is going to help you when you are dealing with that disappointment and that person that said they were going to show up or that person that said that they were going to do this business with you quits. I was talking with a person on my team that I am mentoring and it’s like, “Oh, I thought my sister was going to be in this thing with me. I thought we were going to do this thing together and she is already bailing. She is already disengaged. She is already not 30 days into this.” And this person could just go, “Well, my sister is not into it then I am out too.” But she really knows that she has a mission that she has a voice and that she is doing an amazing job right now and that knows that she is going to build a big team and she is going to serve a ton of people and her sister may or may not be a part of that and that’s okay.
You Control Your Emotions
And, guys, I get it. It’s hard. When you have an idea of what you are going to do and who is going to come along with you and that person doesn’t follow through, it’s going to be frustrating, but I am going to tell you just from my experience with my team…so 2016, I am looking to drastically expand my team. I really want to get in and mentor more people and I am looking for like busy, hardworking entrepreneurial people. Even if they are already involved in another business or even if they are doing something else. Those are the people that I am going to jump in a bunker with because I want to elevate what they are doing and so if I look at my lifers, those people that I enjoy working with the most, I am not related…I’m related to one of them, my cousin, but my parents aren’t involved. My brother is not involved. My buddies from college, most of them…they are not jumping on board.
I love all of them dearly and I would love nothing more than for us to do this together and to build this business and to live a healthy lifestyle and to go on these amazing trips together, but so far, 8 and a half years in, that’s not going to…it hasn’t happened and they’ve watched the entire process!
My strongest business partners are people that I found in the midst of my journey because I was willing to share my journey along the way.
They have had a front row seat of watching me lose a 100 lbs. Watching me keep it off. Watching me build a 7 figure business. Watching me get out of debt. Watching me bring my wife home from her corporate job.
All the evidence is there! And you know you may be dealing on the other side that you don’t have the evidence yet so that’s why people are bailing or that’s why people are disappointing you and that’s okay! That’s okay, because you know where you are going. You know your vision for where you are heading and if you don’t, you got to know that. You got to know that going in.
You better know I am going from here to there and I am going there whether or not you join me or not because what you are going to do, is you are going to find other teammates along the journey that may or may not be related to you, that may or may not be your best girlfriend, that may or may not be your football buddies that are drinking beer and eating nachos and watching football with you on the weekends. Those guys that I hang out with on the weekend and watch football with are not involved with what I do. They don’t know me as Coach Jimmy. In fact, they like to kick me in the crotch a lot about it. That’s just what they do. We guys, we’re awesome right?
So that’s what happens, but I will tell you, my strongest business partners are people that I found, and that found me, in the midst of my journey because I was willing to share my journey along the way via social media or a YouTube or video or something just like this like a stream. So I am just like, “Look, this is where I am going. I am about helping people create healthy, fulfilling lives of freedom to make an additional steam of income serving other people and helping people just be really…live the life of freedom. Be able to wake up in the morning and live their ideal day every damn day of their life.”
That’s what I am about building and I am going to keep saying that and somebody is going to watch this scope and go, “Wow, that’s me. I am busy. I got this job going on. I got this spouse thing. I have got this many kids. I probably don’t got time for this, but there is something that Jimmy’s saying like I want to be a part of that,” and that’s going to be awesome!
I am going to sit and we are going to chit chat, I am going to interview that person and see if they are right to work with me or not and then if they are, I’ll say, “Great, let’s roll!”
I look at the people that are some of my best friends in business right now, they are not even just my best friends in business, they literally have become my best friends because I took this journey. Because I decided to get over my disappointment.
I had a former mentor that talked about how kids have an amazing talent of getting over things quickly. Like so mad! They wanted that candy or they wanted that toy or whatever and you tell them no and they throw the biggest fit. Screaming and yelling and just making a scene and 5 minutes later, they are fine because they have the power to get over it. You just got to let those people that are yakking at you have the power to get over it and just keep going and not be deterred by that.
Plug in to a Support Community
Another thing that’s going to help you deal with your disappointment is are you plugged in to a positive support community? Are you isolate yourself or are you plugged in? Because that’s the one thing that I talk about all the time when I do my trainings, when I work with somebody. I said, “Look, you are going to have access to my private Facebook group, but you got to plug in.”
Engaged entrepreneurs are successful entrepreneurs. When you try to just stay isolated and deal with your negative head trash on your own or deal with your disappointment on your own, it’s going to be real easy to get beat up and bruised and battered. That’s just going to happen and so I need to come back to my group licking my wounds a little bit and saying, “Look, this is what is frustrating me right now. I am struggling right now..” You know I have people on my team that do that all the time, they are like, “Okay, this isn’t going to be a super awesome post, but this is what I am struggling with,” and it allows us to virtually get around that person and love on them and hug on them because when you are just solo, it’s just too easy to throw in the towel.
It’s too easy to be like I was this morning in the gym and say, “No. My workout buddy didn’t show up so I am out,” and you know what I didn’t. I went and I ran out. I didn’t do legs, I decided to switch to arms, but I went in and I started picking up big weight and I used that frustration and disappointment and I got in a hell of a workout today.
So I used that disappointment as fuel instead of shutting it down and I literally was at a crossroads man. I looked at the door and I looked at those weights and I was like, “Okay, am I here for my workout partner or did I show up for me?”
You’re showing up for you. Whatever that endeavor is, you are showing up for you and so you just got to bless and release. If somebody wants to sit there and they want to nag you and they want to kick you and they want to make you feel bad because you’re getting out of what…you’re doing something positive and anytime you do something bigger than yourself, it outs up a mirror to getting back to them. It’s putting up a mirror to them saying, “Hey…” You know when you are working on yourself and they see a mirror and they say, “I am not doing this.” It’s easier to tear you down than it is for them to get off their ass and get moving.
So those are my tips for dealing with disappointment guys. Take a deep breath. It’s not the end of the world, no matter if it’s the person closest to you. You have something bigger to build. You have something bigger to do and it starts with you plugging into a support community. It starts with you having a vision for where you are wanting to go and then trusting the fact that if you continue on that road, you are going to find people that will bunker down with you, that will jump in that fox hole with you, that will just go to battle man.
The people that work with me would go to battle…they would give me their right arm and I’d give them both of mine and that’s why it is. And those people aren’t related to me by flesh and blood and those people weren’t usually my buddies before I got started in this business, but I found some of the most bad ass people that I love doing life and business with me every single day.
If this touched you in some way and you’re like, “Man, I can work with this cat. I know that Jimmy and his team the crew are building something really big. They are building something awesome.” I am going to invite you to go JoinCoachJimmy.com. I have set up a four day sneak peek into my business and what it means to work with me as a mentor and you are going to know, you are going to jump in there and you are going to look at those videos and it’s going to be super apparent to you.
I am going to share some stories with you and when you find yourself in one of those stories you’re going to go, “Yup. I want to work with Jimmy,” and if you don’t then we weren’t meant to work together and that’s okay too.
So, I just invite you to go to JoinCoachJimmy.com, see if this is something that’s for, see if you’re the person I am looking for to build something big, to impact lives, to create freedom, and to just live this passionate ideal life. Thank you so much for hanging out. Please subscribe, like this video, share this video with somebody that needs to hear it today and I will talk to you really soon.