Getting Pissed Gets You Moving
Hi! My name is Coach Jimmy and I am coming to you live today from Dallas, Texas. Before getting started in business, I was a three time college dropout, I was a 100 lbs. overweight, I was a big fat quitter loser that found myself living back at home with my parents in my early twenties. Why do I tell you that?
Well, because hopefully you will stick around me for a few minutes and I am going to let you know some of the tips and tricks and things I did from going from that very sad bitter, pissed off just whiny dude to becoming a guy who has lost over a 100 lbs. and kept it off for over ten years, a guy who has built a 7 figure online business, who has built a team of thousands that I worked with and mentor, and hopefully there is something that I share now that helps you in whatever endeavor you are in right now.
I don’t know where you are in life right now, but I am going to go out on a limb and say there is something in your gut that you know you were meant to do something more than what you are doing right now. You look at your day to day life and it’s not that it’s bad, it’s not that you are in dire, maybe you are in dire straits or maybe you are not but maybe somewhere along the way you have settled into this cruise control, this kind of “good enough”, this survival mode. I know I have gotten there.
I remember during this time right after I moved back in with my parents and I got a job and I was working…I was working at a couple of jobs, I was working at a bank. I a few jobs that I kind of roll through because I was really unhappy with my life so I ended up getting a couple jobs because I felt if I stayed busy it didn’t give me time to think about how unhappy I was.
I remember I had a job at a bank and I also for a little bit I had a job at a video store and it wasn’t even like Blockbuster back in its heyday. It was something like off shoot, generic video store and I would be in there for hours by myself during the day. I really had just settled into this is life you know, “This is life. This is what it’s going to be. You are going to figure out…” I stopped dreaming. I didn’t set any big goals. I literally remember hearing myself say, “Yea, I don’t really like to set goals or you know put a timeline on things because I would just hate not to make it by that timeline and I would be disappointed.”
I thought that was a sound…I thought that was sound philosophy in life. That it was better to play it safe and to not set that goal and not be disappointed than to stretch myself or to set a big goal or try to work outside things. I really thought that I was like being smart.
It’s the same way like when you have a big goal or let’s say you are going…so my background is in acting so any of you performers out there maybe you can relate with me on this one.
You want to be an actor or a musician or a dancer and your parent’s are like, “Oh, that’s good sweetheart.” It’s really good just make sure you have a plan “B” right and they mean it with all of the love in their heart. They are really just looking out for you. They want your safety, but somewhere subconsciously they are just telling you, “That’s cute. You are probably not going to hit that so let’s make sure you have that accounting degree or education degree or business degree so you can go get a lame ass job like the rest of us and settle into a “good enough” life.”
Stop Settling for “Good Enough”
Because 98% of the people out there are living a “good enough” life. I mean even if they have a good job and a nice situation, there is somewhere along the way they stop stretching themselves and they stop dreaming and stop dreaming big and they settled. They settled somewhere along the way and thought, “You know, this is not terrible. It’s good enough.”
And there was something in my life…there was a morning I still remember like it was yesterday. There was a morning that I was showing at my parent’s house and I stepped out of the shower and the shower was…I mean stepping out of the shower in front of the mirror was not really someplace that I liked to hang out being 100 lbs overweight and I didn’t spend a lot of tine in the mirror. For whatever reason that day I did. I stopped and I just looked in the mirror and I just reflected on where I was in to life. 100 lbs overweight, 3 time college dropout, and these survival just “good enough” jobs and I said to myself, “Wow, Jimmy. You were going to be alone the rest of your life if something doesn’t change. If you don’t do something.”
And I think when we talk about motivation and we talk about a jumping off point, we always think of it as this really noble cause. “I want to help other people. I want to better the world. I want to…” It’s something that’s really noble and pretty, but I am going to be really, really honest with guys. What got me moving? Two things. Wow. I don’t know if I have ever shared this publicly.
Getting Pissed Off Gets You Moving
Two things that really got me moving. I got really pissed off. I got really pissed off and also in the midst of all of this time I came out of a pretty emotional break up. My very first really serious relationship was in those first couple years of college and I was…you know, Fat Jimmy really thought he was dating outside…really never had a serious girlfriend before and I was what I considered dating out of my league. Dating this really pretty blonde dancer, fit, awesome family. They came from a lot of means, they were rich, and I thought I was going to be with this girl the rest of my life and it ended up being a really, ugly, nasty breakup where we were supposed to go off to college together. Leave the two year school, go off to a big four year school and she chose to go.
For those if you that know college rivalries this just adds fuel to the fire. We were supposed to go off and go to the University of Oklahoma and I was going to do the musical theater department there and not only did she not come with me to Oklahoma, she decided to go to the University of Texas. The OU’s rival and gotten back together with her ex-boyfriend from high school and it was just a punch in the nuts. If I could just be really really honest with you, I mean a punch in the heart. From my here to my groin, like it was all of this, like in the heart, in the stomach, in the crotch, you know? It was that just kick and I was so mad, so bitter, and so hurt that I had all this angst and fire and pissed off rage that I had to do something with it. It was literally an, “F that, I’ll show her.”
It’s amazing when you look through history, how many amazing things happened from a breakup. Have you seen the Social Network? It’s one of my favorite movies, and you look back at that, and I don’t know how much of that story is true and how much of it is made up for the movie, but you are like dude Facebook and how we like operate as human beings now, all came off some girl breaking Zuck’s heart. Some chick pissed off Zuckerburg, he had a few beers and he created a whole new way of life. You see that over and over again in some of these people that we aspire to and we go, “Wow! They are driven,” and “Wow! They are really…” If you go back and read so many people’s stories, it comes out of a breakup.
Like I think Steve Jobs had some story about like you know a woman like it goes back to… and it’s probably this way in history. Some chick did some guy wrong, he got pissed off, and said “I’ll show you biatch,” and went and did something amazing with his life.
I have seen it the other way around too. Women that have done amazing things because some dude was just a jerk and just an ass and you are like, “Okay, I am off and running. I am going to go do this.” And we don’t really highlight these stories very much because they’re not pretty, we don’t think they’re noble, they are not the way you are supposed to do it.
Motivation Isn’t Always Sunshine & Rainbows
I am supposed to talk about, “Oh, I took care of my health and fitness because I want to improve my lifestyle, I wanted to live longer, I want to be a great example for my kids, or I started my business so I can start a charity that save homeless children,” or something that is really noble.
We don’t like to say, “You know what? I started this stuff to show that chick what was up. To tell her that she made a mistake. To show that A hole that he jacked up. I am going to go build something amazing and give a big middle finger as I stand on my pile of money to that mofo who talked down to me or made me feel stupid or belittled me,” or whatever I mean whatever that was.
And I am telling you right now, don’t think of that as not noble. Don’t think of that as the wrong way to do something because I had an old mentor at that used to say, “Whatever motivates, motivates.” And I didn’t understand that phrase the first time I heard it. I was like, “Whatever motivates, motivates,” and it was like, “Okay. So what motivates you may be different from what motivates me.” So what motivates you is to save the homeless children in Africa and what motivates me is to show this chick that she was wrong and we both could accomplish great things, was your motivation right and my motivation wrong? No.
Whatever motivates, motivates right? And so use it. Even if it comes from a dark, bitter, hateful place. You can create something really loving and positive and impact people’s lives with something that started kind of dark, kind of nasty. And I had a lot of dark places. There are times when I get pissed at myself. I do something, I goof up, and I go, “Okay, I can beat myself up about this or I can go put this energy into something else.”
So it is a fine line when it comes to getting pissed off because anger and rage…and really rage…let’s talk rage for a little bit. There were a lot of times early on in my fitness journey and my business, even recently, that you see this and you’re like, “Hey, Coach Jimmy, he is a nice guy. He is funny and stuff,” and I am going to tell you, right below the surface, I am going to get real real with you guys today. Right below the surface, there is a river of rage that lives somewhere here to my gut that is really pissed off about stuff a lot, that wants to keep raising the bar, that things aren’t good enough.
Use Your Anger as Fuel
Its funny my wife just kind of came to terms with it recently because she used to say, “Jimmy, why are you never satisfied with things? Why is it always on to the next thing?” Not that…trust me, I know how to celebrate next to the next person. I was in LA last week and went out and celebrated with my peeps and with some of my ladies that are one my team that rocked it. You ask them if I know how to celebrate. I know how to celebrate, but I am just so passionate about serving people more or helping more people or doing the next thing that my wife, Kelly, was like…she is like, “I used to get really frustrated that you never seem satisfied, that you could be just like, ‘Okay, we worked on this. Now let’s put it on cruise control,'” She is like, “That the more I see that next thing you want to work on, the other thing you want to raise the bar on, the next person that you want to push and striving for, there is some nobility in that.” It really comes from like stints of rage of me just getting pissed off and sometimes it’s from comparison.
I will be really honest, comparison is a slippery slope when you are looking at other people. Whether you are comparing your body to somebody else’s or you are comparing your business to somebody else’s or your income or your lifestyle or your house or that car. Sometimes those things…it’s a slippery slope. I am not going to tell you that comparison has never played a role in the things that we have achieved as a team or as I have achieved individually, but sometimes this rage, sometimes getting pissed off is really noble.
In fact one of my favorite books, and this is the audio copy of it, and if you are an entrepreneur of any kind you got to go get this and I really highly recommend the audio book. In fact, if you go on iTunes you can download it for like $6. It’s called The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster by Darren Hardy and the reason almost everybody I work with, I try to get this in their hands ASAP, is because it talks about stuff like that.
It’s not just a feel good positive thinking book, The Magic of Thinking Big, The Secret, or something like that. It tells you as an entrepreneur what we are doing and whether you are in a home business or an MLM or you’re creating a podcast or a YouTube show or an eBook, I don’t know whatever it is that you are doing, that 95% of the time what we do sucks.
You know I think it gets romanticized. Really romanticized of the entrepreneurial life and really 95% of what we do blows. I mean it’s a grind and it’s chasing people and it’s having people let you down and it’s meeting after meeting and it’s doing stuff that has no immediate reward or success or tangible thing that I can say, “Look, I did this today therefore look at this money in my pocket or look at what happened.”
You know the same thing with your fitness like you could do a workout today and you are not seeing your abs the next day. You’re not fitting into the little black dress necessarily the next day, but he talks about motivation and finding out that sometimes it’s about why. Why are you doing it? Sometimes it’s about who. You know I deal with a lot of people in helping them take control of their health and fitness and it’s funny, if I really dig in to why they want to lose that…you know like, “Hey, I want to lose ten pounds,” or “I am gonna lose 20 pounds,” and you just go great let’s get started. And a question I ask a lot of people now is, “Okay, great! That’s a good starting point. Tell me how your life looks differently 20 lbs from now. What will you be able to do 20 lbs from now that you feel like you can’t do right now?”
Be Someone Else’s Champion
And a lot of times when you keep digging of like why do they feel like they want to lose weight or why they want to start that home business or why they want to make that extra income, eventually it becomes about somebody besides themselves. It’s, “I don’t want to be embarrassed at my kid’s function. I want to be able to run around with my toddler and not get tired. I want to help bring my husband home from a job that he busted his ass for us and our family, but he is never around.” So sometimes it’s about who. You get mad for somebody else. You have that person that you love desperately or your parents are struggling or they have credit card debt or your Dad’s been driving the same beat up truck for thirty years and there is just something that you’re like, “I am mad for them and I know that they are probably not ever going to do this so I am going to champion them.”
Again and it really is somewhere along the sense of just getting pissed off and getting pissed off can be noble and it can be the most productive thing you do when you don’t feel motivated, when it’s that…it’s easy to get frustrated. We talked yesterday about when good enough isn’t good enough and this week and when you are ready to not send that next email or not do that next rep on your workout or not go talk to that prospect that scares the hell out of you because you know that if they join your team that could change everything for you, but you have just being chicken shit to go ask because God forbid they say no.
Somewhere along the way you’ve got to get pissed off enough to say, “Okay, no! Every time I put off asking that person to join my team, every time I put off that business meeting, every time I don’t go pitch this idea to somebody, I am not doing my best,” for whatever it is that you are mad about. Whether that’s for somebody else that’s a noble cause, whether it’s to show that dude, “Hey, you made a mistake,” whatever, you have to go activate it.
You Know What You Need to Do
So quit talking about being pissed off and then that energy, that “I am so mad”, then do something with it! You got to put it into action. You got to…it’s the same way when people tell me, “Oh, now I am motivated.” I am like, “Good! Move! Move right now!” Because motivation goes away. That rage goes away. That anger goes away like right in the midst of it you’ve got to go take action. You pick up the phone, you write that email, you do that post, you jump on something like this, and you rant it out, you do…you know it.
If I said, “What’s the thing right now if you did it right now and move your business forward the most?” Everyone of you…you have that in your head right now. You know it! You know it in your gut because you keep being chicken about it. So you need to get pissed off enough that you go do it because at the end of the day, it just shocks me. People that tell me they are mad or they get motivated or not motivated and they have this thing that they are just so scared of failure, scared of success, or scared of whatever bullshit that you are scared of, none of it is going to physically harm you, but what is going to happen is if you don’t get mad enough to move and if you don’t and you don’t get mad enough to act, you deserve the life you are living right now.
I can’t feel sorry for you. “My business doesn’t move forward,” then you’re not mad enough. You know, “I can’t stick with a fitness program,” then you haven’t got pissed off and unsatisfied. Really, at the end of the day, that’s what it is. It’s about getting so unsatisfied with where I am here that I have to move. That’s what it was.
That was that moment in front of the mirror for me. I got so dissatisfied and I was so disgusted with that MFer in the mirror that I had to move.
I was so pissed off with that guy. I had no respect for him anymore and I had to move.
I had to get that mad.
I had to get that mad and then I had to put action behind it immediately.
Get Out There and Do Something
So quit telling me you’re going to start over. Quit telling me, “Oh, I am in it really this time.” Just go do it! Quit talking about it! Quite making this statement of, “I am starting over. I am back in it time. I am…”
I’d rather you not tell anybody and just go do something. For once in your life, get pissed off and go do something. Quit talking about it. Go walk through your house if this is about kids and your wife, take some time after you watch this, walk through your house, look you family in the eye, tell them you love them, feel that fire in your gut burn because you are letting them down every time you don’t do what it is you keep saying you want to do.
Every time you keep saying, “I want to build this business so I am with my family more. I am going to get a hold on my weight so I have more energy for my family,” and you don’t do it, you are lying to those people that you tell me that you love.
Get mad. Get pissed off and move. Because if you look up and you are in the same spot you were a year go, I just question how serious you are about this and I can’t do it for you. I can sit and rant and you can get off this video and you go, “Man, Jimmy was awesome!” but if you don’t do shit with it, it doesn’t matter because that feeling that I am giving you right now through this screen, it will go away.
It will be gone after lunch or it will be gone this evening over your cocktail after work. it will be gone the next day and if you are just relying on emotion to like do something, you are not going to do it. Because like I said about this book, it’s showing up when nobody is there it pat you on the head and tell you you’re pretty.
I had this exact conversation with one of my highest level mentoring peeps yesterday and we talked about the transition.
Keep Grinding, Even if No One Notices
She was going through a transition of going from a full time job and now she is doing this full time and I am like, “Hey, it’s challenging.” You think, ‘I have all day to do this,’ and it’s challenging. It’s challenging to live in this life that you don’t have a boss and you don’t have somebody else telling you this and you don’t have somebody patting you on the ass or telling you you’re pretty when you actually did all…you did everything you were supposed to that day. You made all the calls and you made the post and you did that thing but you really don’t have anything tangible to show for it.
Your business didn’t really grow or you didn’t lose the extra inch, but you’re grinding and nobody noticed that you grind today. You what? It’s okay.
Get mad that nobody noticed and grind harder tomorrow. Grind harder tomorrow! Get pissed off about that. So quit looking at anger as a bad thing. If you’re mad, great! Do something with it!
Impact somebody else’s life in a positive way because you’re mad. I am happy you are mad. I hope I’ve offended you today. I hope somewhere…there is a wound in your heart and I went hmmm enough to make you get off your ass and move.
Do something today and tell me what it is you are going to do. That’s what I want to hear from you now.
Like this video, share it, and comment. Show me in the comment what was the quote today? What was the quote that was like, “That’s it!” I hope you are offended.
In fact, I may make that into a t-shirt. I like this t-shirt. Sink and swim, but I may make a “I hope you are offended,” t-shirt. Maybe that’s my new t-shirt.
Tell me what you are pissed about. Tell me what you are fed up with.
Thank you for taking time to hang out with me today. I love you, I believe in you, and I hope I pissed you off because if so, you are going to get off your ass and you are going to do something and by doing something you are going to improve your life and somebody else’s.
My names is Coach Jimmy and until next time, get pissed off and go do something.