How to Hit Your Goals When You Don’t Feel Like it
Happy Sunday evening! Coach Jimmy here coming to you live from, no not Dallas, Texas where I normally come to you from even though I am repping the city. Coming to you from the Big Easy. From New Orleans out on the porch swing. You know, it seems like these things are like just in story books and stuff, but as I am sitting on one, I recommend you put on your goal list to get a porch swing.
It’s actually really nice even though it is humid as hell out here and for those of you who are following me on Snapchat, which I ask that you do, you would know that I just got done with a 2 mile interval run. Every quarter mile I did 30 seconds of an Insanity move because that is the challenge that my boy Shaun T gave my friend Fit and Funky and I told her I would join her on these stupid challenges so that’s that.
Is this thing on and running?
I would love to see a comment Just let me know where you are coming in from.
How is that lighting? Does that make me look less sweaty and gross?
Oh, hey, Kimmy! I am JimmyHaysNelson on Snapchat, it is the only thing I am not Coach Jimmy on because I goofed when I put it on. Hi, Megan. Welcome! This is some funny lighting here. I think it makes the grey in my beard pop out more. Which that’s been a funny story in of itself, is the feedback I am getting on the scruff and this is how sad my facial hair game is. This is probably like 3 days growth.
I have friends that can grow a full beard by 5:00 o’clock. This is my best effort, right? That’s what I have got.
What’s up Steve? Hi Nicole. Jaaack, what is up? I saw that Jack got her workout in today even though she didn’t feel like it so that’s pretty props.
So we are talking about your goals don’t care about your feelings. Kirsten, what’s up? And you know, I hear this so often is, “Oh, I don’t feel like it.”
The number one thing I get all the time is, “Jimmy, I need motivation. Motivaaaation.”
And I get it. Man, motivation rocks.
Create Your Own Motivation
When it comes, it’s amazing and take advantage of that shit when it comes because motivation is this rare lightning bolt thing. I have some tricks on how to create your own motivation. If you want those I encourage you to go to 5DaysFire.com. I actually have a 5 day video series there that teaches you how to create your own motivation anytime.
But lets just face it, guys, we just don’t always feel like working on our goals, we don’t always feel like busting our ass or doing the extra mile. Whether that is fitness, whether it’s me coming out here at 5 o’clock and running in the New Orleans community, whether it’s me signing up for that online academy to build my business, whether that’s starting that online business I keep thinking about.
Maybe it’s just researching how can I make some extra money because I am stuck in a job that only pays me X number of whatever. Maybe it’s time management skills. I don’t know like what it is. Okay, as I am going through this real quick in the chitychat box, tell me what is it. What is that thing that you like, “I want to do this,” and when you go to start doing it, you stop because you don’t always feel like it?
Knowing my audience, I am going to bet that a lot of it’s fitness oriented, but I don’t think it always is. I think it goes beyond fitness. I think fitness and life and business and relationships and money, they all parallel one another. They really do. So, I would love to know right now on this Sunday night what is it? Okay, Mary. “Working out.” So, why do you want to work out Mary Buyers? “Cleaning the house.” Okay, now we are getting somewhere. Cleaning, I get that. I am never motivated to clean, but I hate a messy house.
It’s funny I was talking to a friend of mine about outsourcing that. Laundry and stuff like that which seems crazy to some people.
I remember Chalene Johnson, who taught me so much as my business mentor, tell me so much about building businesses and stuff and she said the very first….Okay Mary, go beyond that. Why do you want to lose weight and be healthy? You are going to see a trend here in a second. Every once in a while I am going to pop in, I am going to ask you something and I am going to come back.
Reduce the Number of Responsibilities
So we were talking about Chalene saying that the very first time she ever outsourced something was for house cleaner that they really couldn’t afford. I think it was Inez, The Inez Factor, I think it was what Chalene calls it and they really didn’t have the money, but they cut some corners in some different places. You can sell stuff in your house and she got the house cleaner that allowed her to have a clean house to really have a clean mind.
Let’s think about this, let’s say like Mary right here say she has a hundred pounds to lose. I understand you Mary. I lost a hundred pounds. I totally get where you are right now, right? Baby steps right now. It’s a baby steps in creating habits, but if you look up and the house is a mess, do you really want to work out right then? No, because you are overwhelmed by the dishes in the sink and the laundry everywhere and the shit all over the floor. I get that. That’s the worst.
Specifically, as I started within home workouts. I still do in home workouts at times, but I am not doing an in-home workout…for those of you doing home workouts, isn’t that the worst that there is like clothes all over the floor and dishes piled up. I guess that’s one nice thing about going to a gym sometimes is that it’s clean.
We are feeling overwhelmed, the place is a mess, we don’t feel like cleaning, and therefore we don’t feel like cleaning, we don’t feel like working out.
And so Chalene said that she was willing to go sell some stuff in the garage or cut out some luxury stuff to pay…let’s say it’s $15 an hour that you pay a college student for a couple hours a week. So what’s that? $30? $45 for 3 hours to come over and maybe clean and do the dishes?
Which I wouldn’t even think it would take 3 hours to clean and do the dishes of your place, unless you have some monstrosity of a house and with that $40 instead of going towards soda, a movie, beer, liquor, a night out, a dinner out, what would get you further?
So, we are talking about when you don’t feel like pursuing your goals. So one of the things that can keep us from pursuing the goals…and thank you for those of you that are sharing this on your timelines right now, but you are like this is some important stuff, people need to hear this before going into Monday and you are sharing it right now on your timeline. I really do appreciate that. Thank you.
So what are the things that can help us not feel like doing it? Well, number one is feeling overwhelmed. So we are feeling overwhelmed, the place is a mess, we don’t feel like cleaning, and therefore we don’t feel like cleaning, we don’t feel like working out. That’s number one.
Get Thicker Skin
Somebody said that kicking off their online business, their MLM business. They get a few no’s and stop and always start over. Okay Nicole. So with that, we got to go back to why did you decide to start this business in the first place? Do you believe in it? Do you really think that your business can help other people?
And I look at it this way, I had a mentor a long time ago tell me when you start getting no’s that we take it so personally sometimes and it’s just like life or death for us. He compared it to when you’re at a restaurant and the waitress comes back by and ask if you want your water refilled. A lot of times you are like, “Oh, no, no, no. I am good.” Or “Do you want that third cup of coffee?” Let’s put it that way because sometimes water always get refilled, but maybe it’s like, “Hey, do you want your coffee refilled?” and you are like, “No, that’s okay.”
That waitress doesn’t go back into the kitchen into an emotional bawl and a wreck because somebody told her no. The coffee just wasn’t the right person at the right time, but there could have been 20 people behind her in the restaurant that did want a new cup of coffee. You just happen to catch 2 people that day that weren’t ready for coffee. They weren’t ready to take a step in the direction of what you were offering.
Now, there is a couple things that could go into that. Did you take the time to establish that relationship to identify the fact that they had a need that your business or product fills or were you just pitching them straight up with no prior knowledge? That they had said, “Gosh, I would really like to whatever that this product would help,” or, “I really could use some money and you are like, “Hey, I have a solution. I have a business that you may be able to run from your phone part time.”
That waitress doesn’t go back into the kitchen into an emotional bawl and a wreck because somebody told her no. The coffee just wasn’t the right person at the right time.
So you just happened to find a couple of no’s. So you have to know, number one, do you believe in this business?
Because Gary Vaynerchuck came and spoke at a men’s event that I did this year and he flat out told the room he is like, “1/3 of you guys need to quit because you don’t believe in this business. You are ashamed of it. You are embarrassed to tell people about it.” And if you are, maybe you are in the wrong business because why would you…if it’s something that you really feel benefits people, why would you be ashamed to tell them? And just because they say no doesn’t devalue your product, your service, your business. It just wasn’t for them at that time or they need some more time and some more information, but it’s not a reflection on you.
It took me the longest time to separate a yes and a no from my value. So hopefully that helps.
And they are not rejecting you, Mary, they are rejecting that product or business or whatever. There is a difference. They are not rejecting you as a human being. They are saying that it’s not a personal thing.
Jack says it great, if you aren’t willing to jump on a table and say, “Oh my gosh, what I do is the most bomb ass shit in the world. This is awesome! Everybody should do this!” If you aren’t that excited about it, then why are you in it? That’s my question to you in the first place. What was it about it that got…and think about it this way, for any of you that are struggling with getting no’s, did you said yes the very first time you were ever presented this product or this business regardless of what business you are in?
I am going to out on a limb and say no and it’s always amazing to me, people that were no’s for a long time and then they are shocked that somebody else is a no or not right now, they don’t extend the same grace to somebody else that somebody extended to them. I am not an affiliate of this, but this shit is awesome. Ever try these Bai Bubbles things? It’s not booze even though it’s National Tequila Day and anybody that anybody that knows me, knows that next to my family…I may love tequila most next.
Know Your Goal
So today is an example, right? So for me, my big business Summit is coming next week and there is this big group workout and stuff and I want to be on point for these group workouts and I want to look my best and I had just made…the past couple of years I had really had spent some time putting muscles on.
For those of you who don’t know my story, I used to be a hundred pounds overweight, lost a hundred pounds. Feature in the Insanity DVD’s and the PiYo DVD’s with my friend Shaun T and Chalene Johnson, but I got super skinny and I was like, “Ah, I got to put some muscles on.” And so I have been putting weight on, but to a point where I started getting uncomfortable. I just felt thick. So the past few months, I have been making a commitment to up my cardio and really lean out some and upping my cardio means sometimes getting in a second workout in the day.
I am telling you, I don’t feel like it most of the time. My energy is not at its peak in the afternoon or the evenings. You people that work out in the evenings, I don’t understand you. The same way you guys don’t understand the way I get up at the ass crack of dawn and work out. But for me, I get up, get it done, and it’s over.
But as I was laying inside…I am at my in-laws right now and so nobody is really doing anything. Everybody is it kind of kicking around. I haven’t done any work today so I was like, “Well, what am I doing?” And I was like, “Oh, there are no cars. I can’t get back over to the gym.” Even though I represent home fitness and home workouts, so that’s kind of dumb, right? And ultimately, what I have decided to do was I saw Shaun T had challenge Danielle Natoni, aka Fit and Funky, to this 2 mile run and every 1/4 mile doing a 30 seconds of an insanity move. And I was like, “Well, I got shoes. There’s pavement outside. Let’s go run around the neighborhood!”
It’s a pretty neighborhood. If you guys count see it, there are trees and look, the sidewalk is jacked. Because it has all these huge trees, this sidewalk is so messed up. It is like an obstacle course running through this thing.
But my head chatter was like, “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this.” And ultimately, who cares if you want to do it? Who cares if you feel like it? What’s your reason?
Get Pissed Off
When I started my business, really a lot of things that I do guys, is stemmed out of getting pissed off. I am so mad at my current situation that I go do it and I think everybody assumes that when you move or when you do something positive in your life, it’s always with this happy go lucky, super excited feeling.
No, it’s that I have to make where I am so uncomfortable and I am so dissatisfied with it, regardless of how much progress I have had, like really easy to be like, “Jimmy, you have lost a hundred pounds. Jimmy, you now run a 7 figure online business. Why don’t you just put your feet up, sit in this little swing here, and chill?”
Because I am going to let you know guys, there is no finish line. For those of you in weight loss, for those of you in business, you are like, “Oh, when I get to here, I will be happy. I will be satisfied.” Maybe you will. Maybe we’re just wired differently. I am not that person.
Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t celebrate. Doesn’t mean I don’t take time to go, “Wow, I accomplished that. That’s awesome,” but for those of you that haven’t read the War of Art, it just a must for you and it’s also awesome for non readers because the thing is this thick. And the War of Art talks about resistance and you not feeling like wanting to do something is exactly what resistance is.
I have to make where I am so uncomfortable and I am so dissatisfied with it that I move.
The minute you decide you are going to do something outside of yourself, something big, something that is significant that is going to impact you or impact others, resistance whatever you believe it is. Some people call it the Devil, some people…I don’t know whatever you call it is, but it’s a very real thing that you can’t see goes into effect because this world wants you to be mediocre. It’s the crabs in the bucket. They want to pull you down. They don’t want anybody to stand out. They don’t want anybody to do anything extraordinary.
I am listening to the audio book Shoe Dog right now about Phil Knight and Nike and how many people told him his idea was dumb and that it was too risky and what he should be doing. It’s amazing over and over and over and he gets a little momentum and they are like, “Oh, it’s good enough. Stay there. It’s been pretty good.”
Okay, this is gone. Someone bring me another one of these.
So resistance is going to pop up and the closer…listen to me carefully here and thank you again for those of you that are sharing on your timelines and clicking like and subscribing to make sure you don’t miss these live streams. Thank you. I really do appreciate it.
Stay Focused on Your Goal
The closer you are to a breakthrough of actually making a real change or establishing a new habit or doing something significant, that resistance is going to get up bigger and bigger. And it’s funny the way he talks about resistance and the different ways that it comes up. Sometimes it’s just like lack of motivation, sleep, he talks about sex being that…anything that can be a distraction, and things that it feels like you are doing something necessary, like family stuff. I need to go back and revisit the book myself but it’s really really interesting the different forms that resistance takes.
It’s anything that can take…you can pour some energy into besides what you are supposed to be doing.
It can be a relationship. That could be some hobby. It’s about getting back to doing the work.
And in his analogy or in his realm is as a writer and yes, just busy work Jack. I usually describe that as those people that just keep rearranging the pens on their desk and mistaking that for work or they’re watching 3 more YouTube videos and they mistake that for work and there is a place for knowledge and for learning but if you never sit down and do the work nothing changes.
So for those of you in a business you are like, “Oh, I just need to watch these 3 more YouTube videos. I just need to go through these 4 more trainings and then I will actually put some things in action.” No. Why move on from the last training you did, if you didn’t implement this shit you just heard?
So if you are going through an online academy or you listen to a YouTube training or you went to an event, the next event is not going to give you the magic thing that the last event didn’t. Because what you probably didn’t do is you didn’t implement what you heard at the last event.
Like next week, I am going to be pissed off at a lot of dudes because 9 weeks ago I had a men’s event for 500 dudes in Dallas and I told those guys straight up…so in my business, there are different rankings depending on where your business is and I said, “You have 9 weeks. There is no excuse for everybody not to be Diamond rolling into this business or rolling into this event.” None of my guys, none. The guys on my team that showed up to that, none of them. None of them took me up on that challenge. The ones that weren’t Diamond.
And some came to that event Diamond and will show up to some at not Diamond. Pisses me off man, because I put my heart and soul into this shit. I dive into it. It’s crazy. People not even on my team…there are few, a small few that why does one person go to an event and it changes their life and somebody else just waste that fucking time?
Stop Wasting Your Time
They wasted their money, they wasted time, they wasted the time of the people on the stage that gave up their time for free to put into them. Me sitting on the swing right now doing this. I am not getting paid for this, but I care. I want to see change in people, I just want to like…I just want to invest in people that are going to do something with this because I am so thankful for the mentors in my life that put time into me and that was one of my things.
If somebody, a successful somebody, takes time out of their busy schedule to pour into me, you better believe your ass I am going to take advantage of it. If I don’t put that stuff into action, I disrespected that person and there is nothing worse in the world to me than disrespecting that. Than disrespecting somebody who is willing to pour into you and give you the short cuts and give you the answers that they didn’t get themselves.
They didn’t have a shortcut.
I had some great mentors in my life, but there were a lot of lessons I had to learn on my own.
So, why am I paying this forward? So you don’t have to struggle as long as I did. So it doesn’t take you 9 years to get your business where mine is.
I tell my entire team this, I was like, “If it takes you 9 years to get where I am, shame on you. Shame on you because it shouldn’t. I am showing you all the mistakes and all the things I did wrong beforehand. If anything let me save you time from that. You should have better physical results than I do.” It’s like with your kids, right?
You want your kids’ starting point to be your ending point because you busted your ass for them that they get to start on your shoulders. I didn’t understand that until I had kids and so for those of you without kids maybe that doesn’t resonate as much because I heard a lot of kid analogies when I wasn’t a parent and I got it, but it went a little different.
If it takes you 9 years to get where I am, shame on you. Shame on you because it shouldn’t. I am showing you all the mistakes and all the things I did wrong beforehand.
So at the end of the day guys, it’s not about your feelings.
It’s not about your motivation.
How do you deal with investing in your team like that and not…you build it around what it does for them Jack.
Perfect example when we did the Superstar thing, I went to these people and told them the benefits it would be to them. If you get to Diamond, this is what it’s going to do to you. If you are a part of a Superstar team, these are the benefits, the prestige, the things that you are going to be able to tell people that are going to recruit more people to you. I made it all about them.
Because if it’s about you rank advancing, they don’t care about that Jack. They don’t.
They love you, but they don’t give a shit what your rank is and they don’t care what your pay check is.
Know Your Reason
So we got to get to the heart of, “Why are you in the business? What do you want out of it?” And then help build it around them and if they say something and then don’t do it, then that’s when we come back to them and say, “Hey, do you want this? You told me that this is what you want.” And if it changes, then you find the next person. No, you can’t want it for them. No, no, no. Once you want it for them and they don’t want it, that’s bad math. That don’t work.
I want lots of things for people and sometimes I still give too much to the people that don’t take action. I know that. Jack and I had that conversation earlier today. I totally get it. I am not…when I talk to you guys, 9 times out of 10 I am talking to myself as well, but if they don’t want it, go find some new people.
And yes, they are like, “That sounds like such hard work! I already have this big…” Do that, but if they are not doing it, do they want it? If their actions do not match their words, then they’re done. It’s bullshit.
We have all been there before. We have all said, “Yes, I want something. Yes, I want to lose weight as I eat this Twinky. I want to be really healthy when I’m at the club every night.” Do you? Are you willing to sacrifice being at the club for the next 90 days to earn that back?
Be Willing to Sacrifice
I am not telling you to never go have a drink again or never have a twinky again, but will you sacrifice some shit for 90 days to earn it back? You know that’s the way I look at it like it’s not all or nothing because I don’t deal well with, “Jimmy, you can never have a drink again. You can never go eat some chicken wings and stuff,” but I am like, “Oh, okay. It’s national tequila day and I am not having any drinks.” I don’t think, the day isn’t over yet so don’t hold me to that.
But you better believe that after Summit is done, I am going to stay in Nashville an extra day. Sunday and Monday, I bet I enjoy myself at Nashville. I bet I make out with a big plate of barbecue or something deep fried.
So has this been helpful? Or you just feel like dad got on here and just reprimanded you?
Like I really want you to leave with something you can activate because I never want people to leave and like, “Oh, I am motivated.” What I hear all the time, “Jimmy, you lit a fire under my ass.” I am like, “Cool. What does that mean? What are the steps of the fire?”
Any questions before I have to go eat, because I am hungry! Awesome Mary, Heather, Heather you coming to Summit? I probably should know that. Megan Riley, you are welcome. Okay, I am really going to shave this scruff either tonight or in the morning. Cool, Lindsay, so what’s the action steps Lindsay? Oh, Heather, makes me sad.
My 2-a-day is today. Actually, I guess you can technically kind of call it 3-a-day. I got up, I did 45 minutes of arms, I did the 15 minutes Insanity Max 30 workout right after that, and then I just did this 2 mile interval run with the Insanity stuff. So, that was today. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah, Tulin rocks.
Any last questions before I go feed my face? Smart, Heather. Smart. Smart.
For those of you not going to Summit, for those other Beachbody Coaches, make sure you are paying attention online. The stage. The big stage. Am I nervous about the stage? Well, yeah or I won’t be doing this. Yeah, I gotta be ready.
And I hope those of you that are coming to Summit come to my break out session which I need to practice.
Alright, guys, thank you for stopping by. Make sure you follow me on Snapchat at JimmyHaysNelson. Again, if you need that motivational boost, go to 5daysfire.com and it’s my free 5 day video series. In fact, it may not be free much longer so I would go now because we are talking about making that a pay product pretty soon. It’s been free for 2 years. We’ve had thousands of people go through it and have amazing results so go to it. 5daysfire.com.
Alright. See you guys later.