Tips to attract the right people
Hey! I am Coach Jimmy and I’m coming to you live from Dallas, Texas and we’re talking abundance today and I will tell you, abundance is something in my life I did not have a lot of and I did not believe in a lot. Before getting into business, almost 9 years ago, in my early twenties, I found myself 100 lbs overweight, a 3 time college dropout, I was living back at home, and I was drowning in debt. So abundance was not something that I believed in. Abundance, I didn’t even know what that word was.
I was in a victim mentality, a scarcity mentality of thinking that there was only a limited amount of goodness in the world. There was only so much money to go around, there was only so much notoriety to go around, and so any little positive thing that happened in my life, I hoarded it. It was every Ebenezer Scrooge that I was going to count my money or count whatever blessings that I had and I wanted to hang onto those. I wasn’t willing to share my answers. If I figured something out, a trick, a life hack, a system, then I wouldn’t share that because oh my gosh, if I share something with you that worked for me that’s less of the piece of pie for me to enjoy!
And really, I lived this very sad existence of thinking that anytime I heard that somebody else had success instead of…so think about that. The last time that you had a coworker, a friend, a colleague, somebody in the same business or industry as you are in and they had success…just really honestly just right now, what was your first gut reaction?
Was it, “Son of a…why do they always win? Why do they always get blah blah blah? This stuff comes so easy to them?”
Trust me, there’s not a negative thought that you can confess to right now that I haven’t had times 10. It was…it happened a lot when I was an actor. So my background is as an actor and if one of my buddies got cast in a commercial or got pulled into an awesome audition, I was mad because I was like, “Well, why not me? What was wrong with me? Why didn’t they call me? Why didn’t my agent call me?”
I was in a victim mentality, a scarcity mentality of thinking that there was only a limited amount of goodness in the world. There was only so much money to go around, there was only so much notoriety to go around, and so any little positive thing that happened in my life, I hoarded it.
Specifically because we had the same agent or we went to the same call and I was really crappy to some of my friends like in my head because I thought, “Well, I’m more talented than them. What’s so special about that?”
It was just this really negative, toxic mental head space that I lived in and it can be really frustrating so I had to…I heard about this theory about abundance and it probably started with stuff like The Secret and I don’t know if I’d go that far of like, “Hey, if you just think positive things, things will be attracted to you,” but I really do…I solely believe that your attitude has a lot to do with things that come to you or repel away from you. I believe that because I’ve lived on both sides of that, I really have.
Another thing that’s really big about abundance is integrity. Integrity and abundance I think go hand in hand and what do I mean by that when we’re talking strictly about business? Let’s talk about business for a second.
The only ceiling is your attitude
If I have a scarcity mentality, if I think that there is only a limited amount of goodness to go around, money to be earned, recognition to be had, if I feel like it’s limited then I am going to be more willing to bend the rules, let’s say. I’m going to be more willing to maybe not have the utmost integrity. My ethics may be a little off so what does that mean? Maybe I bad-mouth this person so an individual will do business with me. I may deter them by painting a picture a certain way so I win and somebody who was going to do business with somebody else or join somebody else’s team or whatever that is, we’re going to skew that.
I see that a lot in my business where people are like, “You know, Jimmy, I want to come work with you.” Well, in our business for those of you that don’t know, I’m a currently a team Beacbody Coach, I have been for 8 and a half years, and so when you sign up to be a Coach or you sign up in any home business if you’re familiar with any kind of MLM or network marketing model, it’s not that you just sign up with a particular company, you choose a certain team that you want to work with.
As you can imagine, my inbox is full every day of people asking for my help or asking if they can switch to my team. At least in my business model, that’s a big no no. It’s a big no no to go poach people off of other people’s teams. In fact, there are rules that are established to help prevent that, but like anything else in life, there are loop holes and if you don’t believe in abundance and you believe there’s only so much goodness to go around, you’re gonna spend a lot of time in those loopholes. You’re gonna learn to dance that loophole dance and I’m just going to tell you, you may get ahead initially, you may see some prosperity, you may see some income, but I’m telling you, it’s not the road you want to go down.
Build a strong foundation for your business
Your long-term reputation…now think about this, you may be building small right now so you’re willing to compromise your integrity. You’re willing to compromise your integrity right now, “Well, I just gotta get started Jimmy. You don’t understand, I haven’t made one sale. I haven’t gotten anybody to join my team. So it’s just this one time. Just this one time I’m going to do this to get me some momentum and then never, ever again.”
But I find that what you do in small spaces, let’s say that’s how you start gaining momentum. That’s how you start seeing success. So when are you willing to turn that faucet off to do something else? Because if that’s how you build the foundation of the house, you’re not going to all of a sudden turn that off and say, “Well now I’m going to find a different way to build or I’m going to find a different way to go about this.” You’ve set your path in motion from the beginning and it goes back to what do you think.
Do you feel like there’s enough to go around…think about this. It’s funny, I get asked this a lot. People that maybe are looking at my business or are looking to join my team and they have this idea that, “Oh, the market’s saturated. There are already a bunch of people in your industry. My Facebook feed is full of people that are Coaches or part of this home business or that home business or selling this online product.” It’s funny, you know I love social media, but it’s funny how we have become…you can create your own reality.
Expand the borders of your reality
Like let’s say that you follow a lot of the same people, say you have 200 friends on Facebook or something. Those 200 friends are in the same industry, are in the same network of people that you’re in. So I go to my Facebook feed and all I see are people that distribute makeup or all I see are people that are into health and fitness or all I see are people that are selling eBooks or doing online courses. Well, all of a sudden, I’ve created a reality where in my head, everybody is doing x, is doing that thing.
So of course I’m going to be deterred and go, “Well, I can’t jump into that and be successful. Everybody’s doing that. There’s only this many people to go around and if they’re buying all my friends’ products or they’re getting involved in my friends’ business, they’re not going to get involved with mine.”
Let’s stop for a second. You’ve created this kind of faux world on your social media because of who you follow and who follows you, you’ve created a reality that’s not reality at all. I could jump on any social media platform and really touch millions if not a billion people at any time. Do you think that my little group of 200, 300…let’s say you’ve maxed out your friends on Faceboook. You have 5,000 friends. You have 5,000 friends. What if I had 5,000 friends that are all in my industry? Then my reality is going to say, “Oh, everybody’s doing this. There’s nobody else to talk to.”
Well, let’s think 5,000 people when there’s multi-million and a billion people on every one of these social networks. You’ve got to switch your reality. You’ve gotta get out of just hanging out with that little group because when you do, you are going to be deterred and you are going to be tempted to cut corners. You’re going to be tempted to compromise your integrity. You’re going to be willing to cut ethics because you’re like, “Uh uh, this is a cutthroat thing. There are only so many people to go around. There’s only so much money to make.”
It’s just not true!
If all I’m doing…let’s just say that if I’m in this room and I’m staring at this corner of the room and in this corner of the room are 5,000 people and I put my nose in the corner of this room and there’s 5,000 people that are in this corner with me, but I don’t see that 90% of the room is behind me and there’s a bunch more people there because I have created these blinders that all I see are these 5,000 people that are doing the same thing I am.
Believe in yourself and your message
So I have a scarcity mentality. This really ferocious competitive mentality and competition’s not wrong as long as you hold your integrity and you hold your ethics in it. If my blinders and all I see are people in my industry, it does a couple….and I had to do this. I had to start unfriending and blocking people in my industry, some that were friends of mine, because I spent so much time either comparing what I was doing to them and all of a sudden I was trying to copy people and when I copy people I don’t see the same results. Why? Because it’s no longer my words or my message.
If I got on here and tried to be somebody else…you’re smart, you’re going to go, “That’s kind of false. He’s just trying to be like so and so.” Guys, I’m telling you, in my business the first probably 5 years, I did a lot of that. I didn’t think that I was good enough, I didn’t think that my voice had enough value. My goal was, “Well, let me find somebody else that’s already successful and I’m just going to copy cat them.”
There’s a fine line here. I think it’s very important to learn from people that have gone before you, but I do not believe in trying to just duplicate yourself to somebody else. If all of a sudden I say, “Okay, I’m just gonna take…Oh, she had a great Facebook post and people are joining her business so I’m literally going to plagiarize…” Man I see this all the flipping time and it makes me mad!!
It makes me sad for the individual that’s copying them because what I see in the person, not just because it’s plagiarizing, what I see in an individual is, “My words and message and story aren’t good enough so I’m going to borrow from this other person.”
And we have never ever been in a time where our audiences are more savvy, our audiences are so smart, and if the minute that I’m going through a timeline or a feed or something like this and I see something twice, everything lost credibility. It’s all cut and paste.
Make your mark and put your own spin on it
Now what I really encourage is the same thing. One of my dearest mentors is Chalene Johnson. If you’re not following Chalene, please go follow Chalene Johnson. She uses this example, Brian Tracy was one of her mentors. Brian Tracy, if you haven’t read you know read Eat That Frog, and he has just so many…his audios are some of my favorite things and Chalene studied at the feet of Brian Tracy. Well, let’s say that when she created her 30 Day Push, and a lot of those things are Brian Tracy principles that Chalene put her funky Chalene cool vibe on it.
She wasn’t trying to be Brian Tracy. If Chalene tried to be an 80 year old man in a blue suit and she’s all kind of anything but that. She’s a lot of flash and a lot of entertainment. You would go, “Oh…” But if I take somebody’s principles and put my spin on it and talk to you in my language and my voice, this is the cool thing that’s going to happen. I’m going to give credit where credit is due, right? I’ve heard Chalene say a 1,000 times, “A lot of this I learned from Brian Tracy.” Any time she learns something, she’s so quick to give credit.
I try to do the same thing. I tell people that are like, “Jimmy, I’ve learned so much from you,” and I really honestly don’t know that anything that I say or that I teach is of my own creation. I may come up with my own phrases, my own way to talk about it, but it’s all stuff I’ve learned and whoever your favorite mentor or social media presence is or motivational speaker or business coach, they all learned their stuff somewhere else.
Most of it all goes back down to…it all goes back to the Bible. A lot of these principles honestly if you just keep going back and going back and going back and so I’m going to encourage you to stop wasting time copying other people. Believe that there is enough to go around and get this. I literally had to wrap my head around this this past year, was the minute I decided to become unedited Jimmy, so a lot of times for a long long time, I was more worried that everybody liked me than anything else. That included my public social media and that included my team. I really have to give my wife props for calling me out.
I really honestly don’t know that anything that I say or that I teach is of my own creation. I may come up with my own phrases, my own way to talk about it, but it’s all stuff I’ve learned.
I’d get to the end of the day and I’d sit on the couch and I’d just kind of rant on the day. “I don’t understand why this and this and this. Why do people do that? And blahblahblah. And this is bullshit. And why don’t they get over this excuse? And if they would just…” and she just stopped me. And she goes, “Why does your team never hear this side of you? Why don’t they get to see the really impassioned…” and it wasn’t just me complaining. It was me wanting more for them and wanting to help them get out of their own way and so I would just sit and just go unedited and she’s like, “Why don’t they see that in you?”
And I was like, “I can’t do that. I can’t be that tough on them. I gotta build them up. I gotta sugar coat things for them. I gotta continue to just pat them on the butt and tell them they’re pretty all the time.” and then I got to thinking, where have I achieved the most? If I go back starting with sports in elementary school or at Junior High to getting into acting classes, dance classes, vocal coaches, any kind of teacher or mentor that I ever had, where did I achieve the most? I’m telling you it was not in the people that just patted me on the butt and told me how good I was. That told me, “Wow Jimmy. You’re really talented, you’re awesome.”
Find a mentor that challenges you to be better
It was those people that that acknowledged, “Jimmy, you have some talent. There are some good things here. You can be better. Quit being lazy here. Let’s stretch that…” and I use the example of when I was in New York City, I had a vocal coach named Jack Lee. I love Jack. Jack’s still around and kicking. Jack’s gotta be in his late 80’s or early 90’s now. In fact, he’s been referenced as the Yoda of musical theatre. This dude worked with Gene Kelly, he worked with Chita Rivera, he’s worked with…you name it as a superstar and he’s worked with them.
And Jack just…there was no bullshit to Jack. I’d walk in and Jack was really big about not just the notes that you sang, but that you were connected to the material and that you were telling a story, that you were really honest about what you were talking or singing about. So we’d look at this piece of music and we would see what it was about and “What’s this character going through? Why is he…Great. Now go over there and we’re going to sing this song.”
And he would start playing the intro and I would get like three notes in and he would go, “God damn it, Jimmy! Why don’t you…we just talked about this!” and he would just cuss me up one side and down the other. I wouldn’t even get 8 bars in and I’m like, “Whoa, Jack. Let me sing this song.” And he’s like, “I can’t. We talked about all this and it was fake from the very beginning.”
And there were days where I would leave Jack’s apartment and I would be walking and I’d pick up the phone and call my wife and work and she’s like, “Hey, how’d your lesson with Jack go? You feeling good?” and I’m like, “I am the worst performer ever in the history of ever. I should never sing a song again. I should never get on stage. He kicked my ass up one side and down the other. I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.”
And I would literally leave these coaching lessons that I paid for feeling worse about myself and not better. So few people do that. They pay for coaching to just have smoke blown up their butt and be told, “Oh, you’re wonderful and you’re pretty and everything’s great!”
Where really, sometimes, we just need to be told, “No. You need to be better. You’re not disciplined enough. You’re not taking this seriously. Don’t waste my time.”
If you’re going to come to me to start a business, if you’re gonna come to me to get in shape, if you’re gonna come to me to do something else, to do something great with your life, and this past year, I had to start doing that and knowing that I was going to scare some people off. Again, abundance back to the topic. I had to know that there were enough people that some were going to get really offended by me, some were going to call me names and think I’m awful and get really offended, like some of you right now maybe, “Dude, Jimmy cussed on this thing and I can’t handle that.”
Be true to yourself
There’s times that I’ve tried to edit myself, but at the end of the day, I’m just me and so I look at it this way. Some of you are going to watch me and just I’m not your cup of tea and I’ve had to realize, that’s okay because if you’re watching this and you’re like, “I get this guy. I dig this dude and I get it.”
Dude, you and I are going to awesome stuff together as we continue to work together. If you get me, great! If you don’t get me and you think that I’m full of shit or I offend you or whatever, I’m not mad at you either because there’s another mentor or business coach out there that you’re going to vibe with and I had to realize that we all gotta find that person.
Do you think that every person that signs up to work with me loves me to death?
No, some of them think that I push way too much and that I’m very unreasonable and that I set the bar way too high for somebody that’s brand new. I get really mad when new people tell me that they’re overwhelmed. I think that’s bullshit. I think that being overwhelmed is a choice and I tell them that and they don’t like that.
They want me to enable their excuses, but nobody enabled my excuses when I was 100 lbs overweight. Nobody enabled my excuses when I found myself dropping out of college 3 times. That was on me. I needed someone to grab me in the face and say, “Jimmy, get your stuff together. Jimmy, quit blaming other people. Quit playing the victim mentality.”
Some of you are going to watch me and just I’m not your cup of tea and I’ve had to realize, that’s okay.
When you get into a scarcity mentality, that’s what you’re doing. You have to know that there’s enough people to go around, there’s not a limit of money in this world, so quit lacking integrity. Quit hoarding your resources. Share your answers because you know what…check this out. I’m on here and I get people in my industry, my fellow Beachbody Coaches that are like, “Jimmy, I love these trainings that you’re doing every morning. Why are you doing it? You’re not making any money. You’re not…why don’t you just save this for your team?”
And you know why? Because 99% of other coaches, that’s exactly what they’re doing. They’re going to keep their secrets and they’re not going to share how their teams are having success. I say that’s bullshit and if you’re one of those coaches, I call bullshit on you. Share! Share what you do! You’re not going to have less success by it. Quit hiding your answers!
I look at it this way. If I share my answers and you have success, you didn’t take away from my success. You can’t take money out of my bank account. You can’t take titles away from me. If you lose weight, I’m not putting weight back on. If you make money, I’m not getting broker. If your team blows up, mines’ not getting smaller.
I’m in the business of changing people’s lives. I’m in the business of enabling people to do great things and get over their excuses. By sharing any of this with you for absolutely free, I’m not going broke. I’m giving you 30 minutes of my day every morning and then I’m going to get on and bust my ass and continue to build my business and do my thing.
I am jumping on a plane tomorrow to go spoil some of my team in Los Angeles and I can’t wait. You know what I know? There’s going to be that person that rock star that business builder that person with that entrepreneurial fire in their gut that’s watching this right now and they know they want something awesome to do with their life, but they don’t know what it is yet and they’re like, “That dude.”
I am working with him and I’m going to be blessed with an amazing, hardworking business builder that’s going to impact a bunch of people’s lives because I volunteered some of my time and they’re going to reach out and say, “Jimmy, I don’t know what it is you do, I don’t know exactly how your business works, but I want to be a part of whatever you’re building.
If that’s you, I’m going to invite you to reach out to me. [email protected] shoot me an email. Go to TheCoachJimmy.com to check me out and look me up. See if this is something where you and I get to work together and if not, awesome!
Go find that person that is. So, live with integrity today. Believe in abundance. Rock your day. Let me know what it is you’re doing. I want to celebrate your victories with you. Leave me a comment, reach out to me. Let’s share! Let’s build some amazing things and until next time, my name is Coach Jimmy and we’ll talk real soon.