If you aren’t pissing people off, you aren’t doing it right!
Hi! My name is Coach Jimmy and thanks for stopping by because today we are talking about them haters. Them haters! I hear this all the time like, “What do you say about the naysayers?” What do you say when you are really looking to improve your life in some way? Maybe that’s you’re trying to get healthier, you are trying to lose some weight, you are trying to start a business online. Maybe you’re trying to write an eBook…you’re trying to do something that improves you. Maybe it’s just a matter of you’re, “I’m trying to stop gossiping,” or you’re trying to kick a bad habit and you’re going to give up alcohol, or soda, or I don’t know what it is, but it never fails.
The minute you decide to change and get out of your comfort zone where it’s been easy, so it’s going to take some effort to create new habits, because that’s what any of this is. It’s just creating new habits. It’s creating a new normal and what your life is and that takes effort. That takes effort to go from, “This is my normal,” to okay up here wherever that change is, is going to be my new normal.
I am going to be a writer. I want to create an online product. I want to start a podcast and it never fails, the minute you go from just thinking about these ideas, these things you want to do with your life, to actually implementing them and putting action behind them, somebody is going to open their mouth and criticize, tell you what you are doing is wrong, tell you it’s a waste of time, that thing you’re getting involved in is a scam, I am tired of hearing you talk, or even more so if you are sharing your journey or what you intend to do on social media as a way to keep yourself accountable and jazzed, there is going to be somebody that tells you, “I am so sick of your positive post. I am so sick of hearing you about your workouts. I’m sick of seeing your pictures of your food. I am tired of you promoting yourself in some way shape or form. I am tired of you.”
People get real mad at self promotion it’s funny.
“I am tired of…” you know maybe it’s that spouse that doesn’t understand why you are starting an online business. “Why you are taking time away from the family to do this thing? Why are you getting involved with that?” It could be so many things. it could be so many things and so what do you do? What do you do in that hard time?
In some ways in social media, there is always…I notice this on YouTube, but I know as this gets posted to YouTube I am probably inviting this, there can be a thousand of these and there is always like one or two of these guys and you are like, “Who are these people?”
You could post the sweetest video like you are giving away money and there are like three people that clicked the down arrow and I don’t know who those people are, but they will always exist. Look, I know all about this business, before I got started in business or really created a lifestyle that I am enjoying now, I was a three time college dropout. I was a hundred pounds overweight. I found myself in my early twenties like moving back in with my parents because I had failed at so many things.
Haters Gonna Hate
So you can imagine when I decide to…when I found a program and something that I decided to stick with where I really was starting to lose weight, as many people as I had cheering me on, there were people that were like, “Oh, I have seen this before. You’re going to fall off the wagon. I am tired of you talking about your health and fitness.” Because what happens when you are improving your life, there is something internally in those people around you that have settled into this comfort zone with you.
So you who you surround yourself with or who you are surrounded by in the midst of your current situation, and by saying “I am going to improve myself, I am going to create that thing, I am going to change my life in some way.” All of a sudden, you’re the outlier. You are the different…you are the person that doesn’t realize which of these things is not like the other, which of these things just doesn’t belong.
You start to become that and all of a sudden your buddies that are all used to like, “Let’s all go have beers and nachos everyday at five,” or “I am going to be the person that just complains about my money problems all the time,” or “Why things are always in debt,” or it’s just so much easier to bitch and complain than it is to change something. Always.
So the minute you start doing something different, it puts up an internal mirror to that person. “Hey, she is doing something about it.” It’s easy to complain. It’s easy to play the victim role. Victim is it’s the easiest role in the world to play and you can say, “Well, I can’t do that because…” and you have your list of ‘reasons’ and reasons are just well-disguised excuses.
And so, there’s something in them that goes…you’ve taken some of their ‘reasons’ away. The minute you start overcoming your excuses, you start overcoming your ‘reasons’, and start doing something different with your life, it takes the power away from what it is that they claim that they are a victim of.
The minute you overcome the same thing that they say is why they can’t, then there is this internal like, “Aw, shit! They are doing it without.” So what’s easier? For them to change or for them to try to tear you down? You’re making them uncomfortable by doing what it is that you say you are going to do. You’re literally having an impact the minute you say you are going to get started. Regardless of your level of results yet and that makes people uncomfortable.
Surround Yourself With Positive Influences
So how do you overcome the haters? I think that really at the end of the day, it’s who’s your circle? Because the minute you start changing, you got to go change the circle. You’ve got to change the circle quick because if those in your circle are going to…do you ever see the movie Up?
So, I look at it this way, like think of the house with all the balloons. You’re in this foundation and you’re stuck in this like crap foundation, but you start like letting balloons up and the house is going to lift up, you are going to elevate yourself to the next plane, there are some of those people that are going to immediately take out their BB gun and start trying to shoot those balloons down.
You need somebody in your corner that’s as adamant about protecting your dreams and your goals as you are because your immediate circle may not be those people. They may live in your house and sometimes that can get really tough if the biggest naysayer or the biggest critic lives in the same residence as you. You really have to bunker down and create and find a new community.
You have to find people that are willing to push you and you have to give them permission to hold you accountable and to be pushed if you’re really serious about changing this thing, because it’s going to be tough. Anytime you want to break out of a current reality and shift to what’s another reality, there is going to be pain. There is going to be effort that has to come up through that. It’s literally like ripping a scab off or like ripping something or like…or somebody when then they re-set a bone. They have to re-break it to set it so it’s going to heal correctly.
You need somebody in your corner that’s as adamant about protecting your dreams and your goals as you are because your immediate circle may not be those people.
There is that same amount of pain and discomfort from when it comes to changing your life and I don’t care what area it is. Like I said, health and fitness is always an easy analogy to go to, but it’s no different than, “I want to start that online business.” It’s no different than, “I want to create retreats for physically abused women,” or “I want to create…” whatever that dream is. I don’t have to go through the laundry list.
The minute I talk about it, there is something in your gut that knows exactly what it is that you want to do that you haven’t take an action on. That you haven’t even voiced and told anybody because you are so scared of the judgment, of the haters. So you have to create your own insulation, your own safety fence.
Protect Your Mindset
If you are going to build a ranch or a farm and you are going to have cattle and livestock to go on that farm, you put up the electric fence to protect predators from the outside to coming and stealing your flock. Your ideas and your dreams are the same way. They are your flock. So you have to build that up.
This morning I am coming off a full day of masterminding and travel. I didn’t feel like getting up this morning to go do my workout and this morning, I got there because I knew my workout partner and the trainer that I work with was going to be there waiting for me. Even when I walked down I was like, “This workout is going to suck. I got no energy.” And we got in there and she started speaking to me in a different way than I was speaking to myself and I got in there and I started working and just my entire…was it the greatest workout in the world? No! Was it anything to write home about and to show off and to post a video about look at how I crushed this today? Absolutely not, but I kept moving!
I kept moving and my mindset shifted. Why? Because that workout partner, that trainer, is part of my electric fence because I knew I had to come and talk to you today. I know that my day is full of mentorship calls from the people that I work with and I needed to be my best, so I needed somebody else who cares as much about my goals. Who cared as much about me executing as I did. And she knows what it is that I do all day and so she came in and gave me that boost. Drug me…it’s just like getting you know like if you’re trying to lift a big weight and sometimes you have somebody spot you. You need mental spotters in your life because there is no way to totally hide from the haters.
Here it is. You can hide from the haters. You know how that happens? You never voice a dream and you never take action. That lets them win also. You’re like, “Well, nobody said anything to me so I guess that’s good.” That’s the same person that says, “I am never going to start because I am so scared of failing.” That’s just the chicken shit way out. That you never move. Again, that’s the ultimate victim role. That’s not even victim. That’s just saying, “The battle is over,” You throw up the white flag the minute you don’t voice anything or you don’t share.
Find a Mentor to Push You
So you need to start finding those people that are your dream protectors. That’s your electric fence. Who are those for you? If you don’t have them in your physical life then I guarantee you and I encourage you to find them virtually. Find those people virtually. Find those people that you could…sometimes it’s even people that don’t know that they play that role for you.
This morning when I jumped up and I popped on a sermon by Steven Furtick. He plays that role for me a lot with my mindset. I have never met the dude. I will meet him. We are supposed to be friends, he just doesn’t know it yet, but somebody like Gary Vaynerchuk has played that role for me before. Chalene Johnson from afar…we have become friends now. It’s funny how some of these people that started has my virtual electric fence, my virtual protectors, have found their ways into my life, in real life. It’s crazy how that works.
Maybe I play that role for you and I come in and I champion your dreams. I come in and give you that mental Chiropractic adjustment where you come in and you are thinking one way and you are self destructing and literally you just need the Chiropractor’s like tikk and it’s just that little adjustment and everything re-aligns and you are like, “Oh, that’s so much better.”
You have to know your go to’s and you have to know in the midst of the battle when somebody comes in and puts that negative comment down or says that crappy thing at work or whatever, you have to be able to know, “Where can run I into my safe zone? Where can I go get that adjustment and get back on it?” Because you never want to stay down too long. I need to know where my safe zone is because I am going to get punched in the face. I am going to get knocked down. I am going to do something wrong. So I need to know where do I go immediately when that happens.
You have to find people that are willing to push you and you have to give them permission to hold you accountable and to be pushed if you’re really serious about changing this thing, because it’s going to be tough.
For the people that I mentor that work with me in my private groups, that’s why I always encourage them to come back to the group. “Hey, if something bad happens…” I tell my groups this, “So, if you’re having a great day, the group needs you. You need to come and share because somebody is having a bad day, but if you’re having a bad day, you need the group. So you’re having a bad day, you need the group. You need to come let us know what’s going on so we can build you back up and get you back out there.”
Because you don’t want to let like a bad day become a bad two days, become a bad week, become a bad six months, becomes, “Hey, that thing that you were hoping and dreaming about is gone.” You got to quit. You have to correct quickly. Just like a Chiropractor. You have to go get the adjustment. So you need to build that for yourself and sometimes maybe that’s creating your own little mastermind group.
My buddy Andy here in Dallas, he took it upon himself to find some other entrepreneurial dudes and they meet once a month and get together for lunch and they check in. They have a Facebook group and they stay accountable that way and like I tell my groups, “I don’t mind if you come share your struggles with me. As long as you’re open to, ‘How do we fix it? How do we correct it?’ I will not let you…there is no room for pity parties in changing the world. There is no room for pity parties in changing your life. You are going to get knocked down. There is no hater A-bomb out there just to go annihilate all of them.”
Ignore the Vocal Minority
And in fact I look at it this way, the more vocal people are about why they have a problem with what you’re doing, 9 times out of 10 is a bigger sign that you are on the right path. It’s this weird thing. Like the minute people…because if you are not doing anything worthwhile, nobody is going to be offended by it. If you are not changing and making people uncomfortable then you are probably not doing something big enough. Your dream isn’t big enough. Your action’s definitely aren’t big enough.
If you haven’t pissed somebody off somewhere along the way, but you have to be willing to make some people mad because you know exactly who you’re serving. You know the person that you are trying to speak to by making this thing public, but if you don’t have enough haters and you don’t have people kind of taking shots at you every once in a while, then you are probably playing it way too safe. If you don’t have people taking shots at you once in a while, you are playing it too safe. You are playing too small.
So how do you overcome haters? You build that electric fence. You build your foxhole, your gang, your peeps, and I have those people that play those roles in many different ways in my life. One is my trainer this morning. My wife plays that role in ways. I have business coaches like James Wedmore, like Bo Eason, like Roger Love, and Chalene Johnson that I can go to when I am feeling frustrated or struggling with something and they can correct or they can remind me why I am doing it or they can remind me how far I have come. That’s a big one.
Today, we were doing something today and Tracey told me she is like, “Wow Jimmy. You have come so far in your strength with this particular move. This used to be a struggle for you. Do you realize it?” I was feeling super weak this morning. I was tired and I was like, “No, wow. Thanks!” It’s no different…let’s continue to use the weight loss analogy.
It’s no different than you getting on the scale and I hate the scale. I think the scale is a flipping liar. Somebody is like…you’re busting your ass for two or three weeks and the scale says you gained a pound, but somebody that’s near you goes, “Oh my gosh. You look really different. Your face is slimming out. Oh, those clothes are baggy on you.” Somebody else reminds you how far you’ve come because we’re always our own worst critic.
We need somebody who’s kind of that third party, who is observing from the outside, that can be kind of a non-biased sounding board to remind us, “Do you remember how far you’ve come?” Because it’s so easy to go, “I still haven’t done this and I still haven’t accomplished that.” It’s exactly what we did this weekend at our mastermind.
Don’t Forget How Awesome You Are
Everybody was stuck in something and everybody else wanted to go, “Wait. Do you know how awesome you are? Do you realize it?” And the analogy that we used was the movie Swingers. That scene where they are telling him, “Dude, you are so money you don’t even know it.” They tell you how awesome you are.
You may see for me it’s some of the people that I hang out with, the hash tag #KillTheBunny. In that movie scene he talks about…he is like, “You are this big bear and he has these amazing claws and these big teeth and you’re just like, you are just batting the bunny around. You don’t realize your power. You don’t realize how it like…just kill the bunny. You have these claws and you have these teeth. Kill the bunny.”
You are so money baby and you don’t even realize it!
And so many times, we don’t realize our power. We don’t realize the claws and the fangs and the impact we are having. We don’t realize the progress we’re making and we don’t realize the impact we’re having on others while we are doing it, while we’re executing. So, sometimes, you just need somebody to tell you, “You are so money baby and you don’t even realize it. You got these claws and you have these fangs, just kill the bunny.” And what I mean by kill the bunny is just continue to execute. You have all the tools at your resource. You think you need something else, you’ve got it. You got the fangs. You’ve got the claws. Kill the bunny. Kill the bunny.
You are way…you are so much more of a bad ass than you realize. No matter where you are in your journey, you are a bad ass because you got started. You’re a bad ass because you refuse to play the victim role anymore. You’re a bad ass because you told somebody, “I am sick of being here and I am going there and these are the steps I am going to do it.”
So overcome your haters by taking action, by building in your protective electric fence group of people, and remember who you are serving. That for every one loud hater, there is a hundred silent people that are cheering you on and rooting for you. The haters are just loud, but they are not the minority. They are just sad people that don’t want to change, but there is a bunch of other people and unfortunately it’s just the way it is.
The people that you are really having the biggest impact on and you are really inspiring, they are just not as vocal. That’s just the way it goes sometimes. We wish they were. You wish you had really vocal pats on the ass all the time, but it didn’t always happen that way.
So just know that that one negative comment, for this guy on YouTube, there is like a jillion of these people that just never click it. They just didn’t. It’s so much easier to like bitch and moan and complain.
So that’s how you overcome on your haters. I am thankful that you’re taking action. Tell me today…tell me today that thing you are taking action on in the comments. I want to know because I want to be a part of your electric fence. I want to be that person that protects your dream and your goal. My name is Coach Jimmy. Thank you for checking in and until next time, keep taking action and kill the bunny.