Separate Yourself From the Pack
Hi! My name is Coach Jimmy and we are talking about standing out in a very noisy world today. In fact, you can see it, boom, right behind me on the white board. If you have been watching my streaming series for a while, we are in the middle of an office reconstruction. So you’re like, “What is up with the less than stellar background here Jimmy?” Bare with me. You can see that actually working, if you can see my calendar here, but I thought this would be kind of fun to let you know what the topic is, how to stand out, and maybe I will do a little bit better with my art skills next time.
But I find right now, specifically in this entrepreneurial world that we live in, that people that are trying to build a business or create a product or build an online brand or do something in the business world or you know whatever it is, some creative process of creating something more than themselves and I am sure that there is something that’s burning in your gut that you know you’re supposed to build something or create something or start a business or create an eBook or a podcast or something.
Right now, one of the things that’s keeping you from doing that is, well there is already this person that does that and there is already this person that does that or maybe you’ve got into a home business, something you know like what I am involved in, and you think that it’s already too noisy or you are like, “Ah, there is already so many in my business. There is already so many people doing what I do.”
The trap that a lot of people fall into is they start trying to be the people that they admire in that industry. I see it all the time. I’ve fallen into that trap before. You really admire somebody, you like the way that they execute, so you are like I want to do what they do and then you find yourself really becoming a copy of them and not yourself.
I have been in the online business space for almost 9 years now and before getting into business, I found myself as a 3 time college dropout who was living back at home with my parents in my early 20s, I was a hundred pounds overweight, I had lost a lot of confidence, I’d given up on my dreams, and so for a long time, I never thought I was good enough. My story was enough. Who I was individually was good enough.
Believe in Your Vision
So and it even happened in my acting career. It was, “Oh, I need to be more like this actor. I need to be more like this guy. Oh, when I sing I should sound like this. This is really what they are looking for.” I fell into that trap for a long, long, long, long time in my business and that trap and then needing somebody’s permission or running an idea, instead of just going out feeling an urge to do something and going to execute and seeing if it worked, I’d need to run it by a buddy or a mentor or somebody else and I really was just asking for permission to do what I felt was right.
Sometimes that mentor, that buddy, didn’t see it the same way and they were like, “No…” and they told me why they felt that it wasn’t the right thing. So I was like, “Well, they know better than I do!” and I wouldn’t pull the trigger on it. Only a month or two or three months later to see somebody execute on my exact idea and kill it. It was just like, “Oh, man! I had that idea, but I didn’t go with it because somebody didn’t agree with me or somebody didn’t share my vision.” That’s why it’s called your vision. That’s why it’s called your vision.
And so how to stand out in noisy world is stop trying to imitate people.
Now, it’s vital to have mentors. I think mentors and business coaches and coaches and people in your industry are vital, but don’t try to be that mentor. I’ve really fallen into this trap so many times because I am like, “Ah, well they’re doing it and it works so I am going to try to sound as much as I can like them when I post. I am going to try to make my pictures look as much as this. I am going to make my videos look as much like them,” instead of pulling the trigger and being yourself.
So how do you stand out in a crowd?
Be Unapologetically You
Well be uniquely you because nobody has your story, nobody has the things you struggle with right now, nobody has your story, nobody has your triumphs, nobody has your demons, nobody has what inherently is you, and, yes, I bring up the struggles and the demons because that makes you you.
That’s really what’s gonna attract certain people to you, is you admitting what it is that you struggle with, admitting what it is that you’re are still going through.
So many people try to think, “I am going to wait until I fix me to help somebody else. I am going to wait until I get all my shit altogether before I launch this product, before I create…” you know whatever it is that you are supposed to create and you are missing a huge opportunity right there.
Perfect example is yesterday Ronda Rousey was on Ellen talking about losing her match and getting knocked out and losing for the first time as an MMA fighter and it was…well it was so eye opening and what made me love her so much more is how vulnerable she got in this interview to getting choked up to admitting that after that fight, she was having an identity crisis. She was like, “If I can’t do this, who am I? If I am not this persona that I’ve created, nobody cares about me.” And even was upfront enough to say, “I thought of it’s not worth living if I can’t maintain this standard that I have set.”
What did she do in the middle of that? Right there she showed you her… like so often we are so scared to show our wound and so we cover it up and we hide it and we don’t show anybody that we have this wound or this demon or this thing we struggle with. Where is it…you know the people that you are attracted to? They are the people that do this, “See it? You want to stick your finger up in there? I am going to do it. Arrrh.”
And like all of a sudden when I talk about that thing that I struggled with, my demon, my whatever, the thing that I am going to do. Once I talk about it and I stick my finger up there and make it all nasty, I take any power away from you to judge me, because I just owned this shit right?
Don’t Hide Your Faults
I did this just last year when I was at Summit. July. It was last July. I got to Summit, for those of you that know, I have been a Beachbody Coach for almost 9 years now. That’s like…that’s our big Mecca dude. That’s our Super Bowl. I was getting recognized as an Elite Coach for the fourth time. I was getting recognized as being a part of the Millionaire’s Club, and how did I celebrate that? I got there a day before everybody else and got snockered drunk the very first night.
That’s not the first time I have ever been drunk at a Beachbody event, and for those of you that are Coaches, one thing I have learned, coaches are fit people but they like to party as well. And 9 times out of 10, I was the one leading the charge.
Now, what happened this time around? Well this time around, I took it a little too far. I wandered off from the group and got myself punched in the eye on the streets of Nashville the very first night.
Now, I had some choices after that. I could have run home, which is what I wanted to do, and just disappear. Just been like, “Ah, I didn’t see Jimmy at Summit. I don’t know.” There were a bunch of people there, it would have been really easy to hide. But that’s not what I did. I took a picture of my black eye and posted it on social media the next morning and said, “Look, I got a bit of a problem here. You know I’d been walking this tight rope for a while and I fell off last night.”
I got really, really personal with look at my wound. Now, it’s really crazy, the minute I did that my inbox was full. Not with people judging me. Not with people throwing stones or anything. With people who go, “Oh my God, I thought I was the only person. I thought I was the only successful businessman, family man, that looks like he has it all together on the outside, that really there is probably a few nights a week, I don’t remember going to bed because I tip back a few.” And I have all these people sharing immediately I became…there were certain people that couldn’t relate with me until I shared that part of my story.
Same thing. So Ronda Rousey talked about she felt like taking her life. There were somebody that heard that story yesterday that goes, “Oh my God, this chick is an idol in some people’s eyes and this is what she thought about in her moment of weakness. If she can get through this, so can I.”
The minute she talked about that, and she ended that interview talking about how in the midst of that she looked up and saw her man or her boyfriend or whatever they are, her guy, and said, “I have to stay alive for this guy. I need to have his babies. We need to have a future together.” So she talked about her wound and she talked about what’s giving her hope to fight through it at the same time.
My friends, that is how you stand out in a noisy crowd because your story is so unique. That story and that thing that you are so ashamed of right now or you’re using it as the reason you can’t start a business or you can’t create a product or you can’t start speaking or you can’t start doing videos or doing a Periscope or you can’t start that YouTube channel or you can’t start that podcast. The reason you are telling yourself you can’t because you are like, “I got to fix me first before I can talk to other people,” that’s a lie and that’s bullshit.
You start talking about it in the midst of it and you are going to champion so many people along the way. So many people are going to go, “Oh my gosh, this guy doesn’t have his stuff together, yet he is talking about it in the midst of it. I am hooking my wagon to that person because they are just like me.”
Share Your Story While You’re Going Through it
Now on the flip side, it’s the same example of me losing a hundred pounds. I wish I could have started my business in the midst of my weight loss because it’s one thing for me to stand on the other end of it and go, “Oh, I lost a a hundred pounds. This is what I look like now!”
There are going to be certain people that go, “Oh, that’s great.” I may gather admirers or fans, but I would have been able to activate more people to move, had I documented the entire journey. The first two pounds. The first five pounds. The first ten pounds. Oh, when I put five back on. Oh, when I lost twenty and put fifteen back on. Oh, when I lost thirty went off and started working at Disney world and discovered alcohol and the girl I was dating at the time was really big in the Midori sours and I didn’t think, “Oh, sugar content.” So we would go out and we would drink, that’s a manly drink right? But I would put that weight back on, but I see that specifically in my industry all the time.
“Business is going good because I am on my fitness regimen. Oh I put back on twenty five pounds because some shit happen in my life, well now I can’t coach other people and I can’t do my business because I put twenty five pounds on.” No, no, no, no, no. Talk about the journey because somebody else is also quitting because they felt like they couldn’t do it because they fell off a wagon, because they lost their momentum, because…and so I am using weight loss as an example, but you can put this into anything that you’re building or that you are not building because you told yourself. So quit trying to be like everybody else.
“One longs to be the needle in the haystack, not the haystack.” You are spending too much time trying to blend in with the haystack. Be the needle.
One of my favorite, favorite, favorite quotes. So, one of my favorite shows, and I joked at my little corner over here with my rocks glasses and my leather chair and my painting is my Don Draper corner of my office. One of my favorite shows is Madmen and so those of you who don’t know, Madman set an advertising agency in the 60s, lead character Don Draper, and he has one of the greatest quotes. He is talking to a client that they’re going to represent their creative, their advertising, and he says, “One longs to be the needle in the haystack, not the haystack.”
Now, listen. I am going to say that again and really listen to that. “One longs to be the needle in the haystack, not the haystack.”
You are spending too much time trying to blend in with the haystack. You are spending much time trying to look like the other pieces of hay. When you look at a barrel of hay, a bundle of hay, you don’t notice the individual strands. It’s just this big monotonous glob, but if there’s the shiny needle in the haystack, that’s when the light catches the reflection. That’s what catches your eye. That’s what you focus on.
Be the needle.
Be the needle. And how do you be the needle?
By just sharing your story. By just being unapologetically you, good, bad, and indifferent. And you know what’s going to happen? Be prepared. There are people that are going to fall in love with you even more. You are going to gain a more rabid group of followers and there is going to be a percentage that you turn off and that’s okay.
I had an old acting coach that used to tell me when I walked into an audition room, he is like, “When you go into an audition room, you want to leave that room with them thinking you are the greatest actor in the world, or what the F*** did that guy just do? He is awful. If you walk out of that audition room and they go, ‘Um not bad,’ and you don’t make a bold choice or you just try to play it safe down the middle, you are never going to work because you are going to be along the line of the other 90% of people that came in and didn’t make an impression. They didn’t piss anybody off, they didn’t offend anybody, but they didn’t impact anybody in a positive way either. They were just lukewarm water. They were just lukewarm water.”
Quit being lukewarm water. Please quit being lukewarm water. Because who wants to sit in a lukewarm bath? You can jump in a cold bath. You’re like, “Oh shit!” That wakes you up and it’s “Oh my gosh, that is cold and it kind of sucks, but it woke me up!” Or you can put scalding hot water on and that gets a reaction as well. Lukewarm water is just boring. It doesn’t affect anybody. It doesn’t create change. It doesn’t create change.
Your story right now where it is today if you will share it, just uncensored, is not lukewarm water. Whatever that is. Your struggle as a parent, you’re trying to build a business, and I don’t know what your thing is. You know everybody has their thing. I mean I could sit here and list off all my demons and bullshit that I deal with all the time.
Just be you and be you boldly. You are going to offend somebody, but you are also going to have a line of people that follow you because you are you, unapologetically you.
Perfect example. So if you notice every once in a while, not on purpose, that my language is a little flabbery and I used to really be self conscious about that. There is as many of you guys that show up that go, “Oh my gosh Jimmy, I love when you are just you and sometimes you let some words fly.” You know what I also have an inbox full of stuff that people get really mad at me when I cuss, including my mom. She is like, “Jimmy, can you just reel that it in a little bit.”
And I don’t do, I don’t choose to do it one way or the other. I am just me. I just talk. If you hung around me all day again, follow me on Snapchat, you’ll see. I just talk. It’s not like I am just trying to like fit words in there to like get your attention. It’s just me.
Your Story Has Value
So be you and be you boldly. It’s a quote that I’ve had a long, long time. In fact, if you want to see probably one of my favorite exchanges on stage that I have ever done, go to my YouTube channel and just search Coach Jimmy Be You Boldly or search Coach Jimmy You Have Value. I think it’s actually titled You Have Value and I talk about that.
Just be you and be you boldly. You are going to offend somebody, but you are also going to have a line of people that follow you because you are you, unapologetically you. Don’t try to be me. “Well Jimmy said I needed to cuss.” I didn’t say that. If that’s not you, don’t try to force that in. Don’t try to be more abrasive than you really are. That doesn’t mean everybody has to have this abrasive personality. If that’s not you, don’t be that.
If you are the most sappily, sweet individual in the world, just ooze that through the camera. But you have got to stand out, because if you don’t stand out, people’s lives aren’t changed, people aren’t impacted with that thing you know right now in your gut you are supposed to be doing to change lives, to impact people, to leave your mark on this world.
You only get one time on this crazy planet, why would you spend it being lukewarm having it impact nobody? If I pissed ten people off, but I changed one person’s life, worth it! Worth it to me, but if I play lukewarm and nobody is affected around me, not worth it.
So be you and be you boldly. Share the worth. Share the ugly side. Share the wounds. Share the good things. That’s the other side of this. Be willing to like celebrate yourself. Some people don’t want to celebrate their success because they feel like its bragging.
Well somebody needs to hear that you’re having success so they have hope and can move on!
I want to know, what’s that thing that you’ve been reluctant to share up until now. Tell me in the comments because I want to celebrate that with you. Let’s get a little crazy. You can just share it just you and me. Put it in the comments. What’s that thing you have been reluctant to share up until now. My name is Coach Jimmy. Thanks for plugging in and I’ll see you next time.