He used to be an out of work, drowning in debt, actor. Who was so broke he passed out chocolates as a job in New York Times Square. Now, he is a financially fit husband and dad living a kick ass life of travel and fun, and will never have to punch a time clock again. Delivering only the best business tips to the pros. Buckle your chin strap, you just stepped into training camp with Coach Jimmy.
Jimmy: Well hello there and welcome to another episode of training camp. My name is Coach Jimmy. I’m your host, and we’ll be bringing you the secret tips – the super secret tips – of the pros in the home business industry. That can be in all different types of home businesses. My job is to deliver the very best, the pros at the top of their game, to you in these shows.
Today, not only do I have someone that is at the top of her game, she is also a dear friend of mine. I’m going to brag on her just a little bit before I bring her on. She is a super wife and a super mom. I love the way she runs things with her family, and that family is very much number one with her. She’s not willing to sacrifice family for business, and understands how it all works together. She is someone I look to a lot to take notes and get tips from because I love the way she lives her life.
She has earned multiple millions of dollars in her home business, which, as you know from watching and listening to this show, means she has helped a lot of people. It’s not just the dollar amount and it’s not just about her. It’s what she instills in other people.
So, help me welcome to the show, my dear friend, Mrs. Mindy Lawhorne. Thank you so much for joining us today.
Mindy: Thank you for having me. I’m excited
Jimmy: This is going to be awesome. What I wanted to bring you on and talk about, to let people know up front, is resolve. We’re talking about how to stay in something. Anyone that’s ever tried to start a business of their own knows it can be challenging and that it doesn’t happen overnight. When I asked you to be on this show and said, “what’s in your heart – what’s in your core,” this topic came up immediately. Why is this so close to your heart?
Creating That Unshakeable Resolve
Mindy: I think it’s because it’s so easy to quit, and one of the things that I feel like I’m constantly trying to reiterate, with myself and all the coaches and people on the team, is that you have to have some sort of resolve that cannot be shaken or changed by life, the ups and downs, or the words others say. That’s what immediately came to my head, because it is what I believe truly makes the difference between those that succeed and those that don’t.
“You have to have some sort of resolve that cannot be shaken or changed by life.” – Mindy Lawhorne ( Click to Tweet )
Jimmy: I think that’s great. So, is this resolve something you had from the beginning, before you got involved in your business, or is this something you had to develop and learn as you got started?
Mindy: Well, I think it’s been developing my entire life. You and I have similar stories, so if anyone knows your story they are kind of going to get it. I didn’t grow up being successful. I grew up very much challenged. I was overweight, super chubby, and not very good at sports. Actually, I was horrible at sports. I didn’t make that good of grades, either, and I was like, “what the heck am I playing for if I’m not good at anything.”
What I soon learned is that there was a difference. In the beginning, in high school and even into college, a lot of people were just naturally gifted, smart, and intelligent. But, when we got out of college, those same people were failing, and in some the stuff they were failing at, I was actually succeeding. And I’m like “wait a minute, these are the same people that were straight A students. These were the all state athletes. These are the people that had it going on in high school and college. Why are they struggling now, and here I am not struggling at anything.” Here I was in my late 20s, early 30s, realizing this, and what was the difference? They had all the natural skills and talent.
What I figured out is that the difference was resolve, and it is your decision, internally, to never quit. Because things were easy for them growing up, now that they were adults they were finally having struggles, in many different ways, and I was like, “I’ve struggled my whole life, I’m used to it.” You know? And I was succeeding where they were failing, so I was like, “WOW, so it’s not about intelligence. It’s not about your god given ability to slam dunk, it’s about your resolve, and I’m never going to quit. Each day I’m going to try to get better.” That’s where this really came full circle for me.
Well I love that, and I’m just going to pause right here because as I’m taking mental notes, and hopefully the people checking this out are taking notes feverishly as well, I’ve noticed that so many people feel like they’re not going to be successful because they don’t have evidence in their past saying so. But really what you’re saying is that those struggles in your past really can be the key to why you’re going to be successful going forward with this resolve. You’ve hit things before, and you’ve struggled, whereas those people, which we all saw growing up, had everything easy. Some of them don’t have that resolve, or aren’t prepared when something smacks them in the face and says, “hey, this isn’t going to be easy.” For those of us that kind of had to deal with things all along, we’re set up to get past that boundary in our adult life or business.
Mindy: Yeah. There’s so much story in a struggle, and the struggle can be taken one way or the other. You can be like “this stinks – this is the worst – poor me,” or you can be like “this stinks, but there’s got to be a way through it.” What we learn and how we grow through the struggle is completely determined by how we really embrace the situation, and while I feel like I’ve had it my whole life, it’s like, “OK, this really stinks,” but I have to say “OK, this is what i’m going to learn through this,” or I’m learning to not do that again, or I’m going to learn that every day I have to do blah blah blah or I find that my week goes down the drain.
A lot of people just feel like the struggle is what gives everyone anxiety, but it’s actually the fear of what’s going to happen in the struggle. The proof, and sheer truth, is that what comes out on the other side of the struggle is SO MUCH BETTER than what went in to the struggle. That’s a difficult thing to try to embrace, because I wish God would just say, “This is what you did wrong, and this is what you need to learn. OK bye.” But no – he puts you in it and you’re like, “I can’t breathe!” Maybe something horrible happened, or maybe a friendship needs to be mended just because of a mistake. What you realize is that you have to get through it – the emotional aspect of it – the loss of whatever that is – and I have to learn that way so I can take the steps in the future to never repeat that.
What comes out of it is a thing called refiner’s fire. You start at one point, with this little lump of clay that has to be molded into this pot, and it gets put into this fire, and, while all that is so uncomfortable and not pretty, what comes out is this pot that can be painted and made beautiful with colors and decoration. The thing is, it would have never happened if you hadn’t struggled through that painful process.
Jimmy: That’s so good. There was a very small phrase that you threw out that I’m going to go back and put a magnifying glass on, because I don’t want people to miss this. You said, “when you decide to have this resolve and not give up.” Can you talk about whether there is a conscious decision where this all starts? Does that decision need to be made early?
Mindy: Absolutely. When you decide to be part of something – to me, choosing is sometimes different than a decision, because you can choose to make a payment or buy something – you choose might to make a purchase to become part of our team, but actually deciding to get in it for the long hall is something entirely different. The resolve that I’m talking about is a thing called unshakable resolve, and that decision is an emotional, mental, physical decision.
“The resolve I’m talking about is an emotional, mental, & physical decision.”- Mindy Lawhorne (Click to Tweet )
What we recommend on our team is that you’re going to do this for at least a year. You’re going to go through our training and we’re going to become best buddies. As Jimmy says, we’re a high touch team, and we like to stay in communication because in my business I attract a lot of females, as you can imagine, and in the female world, and I know it’s in the guy world too, we’re very emotionally based. If someone says something to us that they may have meant nothing by, it triggers all these memories and past experiences and we’re like, “they don’t believe me,” or “I’m not a worthy person to represent what I’m trying to be here.”
When deciding to do something and going into this business, or any business you have, you’re going to have tons of ups and downs. People are going to doubt you. They are going to doubt the programs and the products, and you are going to find yourself doubting. Why do we doubt? Because it’s not easy. There are lots of ups and downs, and there’s of time where we completely fail, but the truth is that it’s only a failure if we quit. Otherwise, it’s just learning what not to do. It’s not a true failure unless you give up.
I’ve had to fight my own doubt MANY times, and now I kind of talk people down from a ledge, so to speak, daily. They are like, “so and so said this, is this true?” and I tell them to research it. I tell them everyone is going to say no and give them reasons not to, because they are cop-outs. They are excuses.
I find that people want change DESPERATELY. They say they’ll do ANYTHING to pay of their debt, repair their marriage, etc, but when I ask them to try my program, and that it’s going to cost this much and take this much time out of their life, they freak out. And I’m like, “wait – you just told me you would do ANYTHING. This cost and the time doesn’t fall under that category?” We want change, but we fear it at the same time, so that’s where the unshakable resolve has to come in. No matter who doubts you, who says no, who says you’re dumb or complains about the expense, all of that is going to come. That means you’re trying. You’re asking, and you’re moving forwards if people are telling you no.You have to realize they’re not telling you as a person – they’re just telling you they’re scared and not ready. They just need to see and hear it a few more times.
Jimmy: I think that’s great, and you even mentioned that there were struggles for you early on when other people were succeeding. When you decided you wanted to start a business for yourself, what were some of the tools and things you leaned on to help you get over your own self doubt, specifically in the beginning. I find that a lot of people stop before they can really get started, because our biggest battle is always between our ears. What are some things that helped you get through those early self doubts?
Mindy: Well, this is going to sound so funny, but it’s one of my favorite things. I want to get a tattoo of this. I love it so much. Why do I let others dictate my movements? My actions? Why do I let others’ words dictate whether I’m going to do something or not, when they don’t pay my bills or raise my kids, aren’t married to my husband, and don’t have in their heart what God has told me. Why would I allow their words to determine my actions?
So, way back in the beginning I actually took a job out of fear. My husband has a physical situation where we need insurance – he lost his job – and I just took this job. While I loved the company, the position was not for someone like me. For nine months we desperately struggled.
I was watching all my friends who had signed up for the program the same day I did, and they were loving it, while I was stuck at this job. They were succeeding. They were staying in that mindset of what we loved, and one of the big reasons I even knew them was because we all shared a like-minded thought process of what we were doing. I was at that job for 9 months, kind of looking over my shoulder at my friends and thinking “there’s my friends, but I gotta keep working,” and I really wanted be next to them. I knew what I was doing wasn’t the purpose, and, long story short, I quit.
My husband didn’t have a job… we didn’t have a job. But, I knew for a fact that I was supposed to be doing this, and that if I had the opportunity to work it I wasn’t going to let anything anyone said to me change the decision that I had made and the future that I could see. It was fuzzy and out of view, but I could see me working for myself, my husband working from home, us living in our dream house, and the school my kids would go to. But there was no way that I could get there doing what I was doing then. That dream was so real that no matter how many people told me what I was doing was dumb or that they didn’t want to do it with me, I knew that they couldn’t deter me from that dream.
That was the dream that put it in my heart. So everyone has to think about it in those terms. I didn’t know all the policies or products, but I knew there was something about the program. There were many times people said mean things to me, and I was like, “maybe I shouldn’t do this.” But I told myself those are the same people that are still overweight and in debt. I told myself I couldn’t listen to those people. I told myself I needed to find a better crowd – and I did.
Jimmy: I want to cut in here for just a second because so many people that venture out – that are chasing their dream or starting a business themselves – most of the time, unfortunately, are surrounded by people that want to drag them down. Those people see someone trying to do something better than themselves, and it makes them reflect on themselves and try to pull everybody down.
What I love about your story is that you said you had a group of friends that embraced the idea of starting their own business and doing their thing, and so while there were these naysayers, what really got you moving was that you were a part of a community of people that were supportive and lead by example. You were able to say, “well if they can do it, I can do it.” Can you talk a little about your surroundings and the people you associated with. Some people might want to branch out and start something on their own, but maybe their day job has a bunch of negative Nancies. What can we do to find something to help them get past these doubts?
Mindy: Absolutely. I love this topic. Seriously, we need to just stop now and record again because I have so many people that I tell, “as iron sharpens iron, so does one man to another,” or “surround yourself by people you want to be like,” or “we become like the five people we hang around.” That type of mentality. And people always respond, “I don’t have anyone positive in my life.” And i’m like, “I’M HERE!” Even though I may be thousands of miles away, thanks to social media all my closest friends in my tribe are right here! A good portion of my team don’t live anywhere near me. Many are even in Canada. I love my coaches! We have this thing called a phone, and we text, and we go on Facebook, and we do Facebook, and we do videos and get on a weekly webinar.
“People respond, “I don’t have anyone positive in my life.” And I’m like, “I’M HERE!”” – Mindy Lawhorne (Click to Tweet)
It’s asking an hour or two a day, but I teach them how to split it out into thirty minutes in the morning, fifteen minutes at lunch, maybe an hour in the evening, and thirty minutes before they go to bed. Whatever. I ask them if they understand what they are doing. They are surrounding themselves, and I tell them it’s like they’re seeing and hugging these people every day because they are right there digitally. I tell them not to tell me they can’t, because they can. Plus, I’m right here. I’m one of those people that can be a notch in their communications chain. Lets hook up!
Jimmy: I think that’s great. This is an example of a way they can re-fill that tank. I start my morning every day by pulling my phone out, going to Youtube or a podcast, or something that’s going to set my intention for the day, because, like we’ve already talked about, we didn’t necessarily come from the most positive surroundings, so you have to create them. Now, with technology the way it is, even if you find a virtual mentor that may be no where near you, it’s a matter of getting that message over and over into your head that keeps you in it and gives you that resolve that you talked about.
Mindy: It’s so true. With so many free things out there, like Podcasts, which I am all about lately, we can get so much out of these digital platforms. If we leave ourselves to our own thinking, we’re going to just worry about pizza and beer on Friday. That’s what we look forward to. With all of this available support, we can do so much better. It’s so fulfilling to know that some discipline and motivation adds up. My children’s birthday parties and our family occasions are planned months in advance, because I’m so much more focused and not thinking about the little things that don’t matter.
We could do a whole video on the lazy, undisciplined people we used to be. We didn’t feel like we were living our purpose. Being a Beachbody Coach, though, you start to figure out why you are made. In the beginning, I wondered what my purpose was for being on this earth. I’m not smart or talented, and I’m really loud and hyper, and that doesn’t get me good grades or provide any value. Nobody is going to hire me to do any of that. Well, that was a lie, because I got hired to do fitness, because that’s one of the things I do. Hyper and loud is actually wanted in this type of world.
It opened up something completely different for me, and the bottom line is that I’m in charge of so many parts of my life. Not all of them, i’ll give you that, but almost everything is due to the discipline and steps I take in advance. It’s like a revelation to me, knowing that we can kind of design this life by our steps. So, five years ago we started, and now we’re living a life that sometimes i’m just like, “Jesus, thank you so much!” I feel crazy about all the stuff we have and get to do. It’s not so much the things, but the people on my team that we’ve gotten really close to and helped get out of their negative situations. Everything else kind of pales in comparison. Such a joy.
Jimmy: That’s so awesome. You said five years. Think about this for a second, everyone. Think about where you were five years ago and how much of a blink of an eye that is. Think about how much your life could change five years from now if you could master some of these simple things that Mindy is sharing with us – specifically about resolve and not quitting. So, once someone makes the decision and finds some new crowds and mediums to plug into, virtually or not, to change their mindset, what else can they do to feed that momentum going forward. How can they continue to propel the momentum so it grows upon itself.
Mindy: Yes. Great way to say that. I desperately need those small wins during the day and week. I need those. I also need a break. That’s just my personality. I need to know I can have whatever I want to eat on this day, or that I can go see a movie, or that I have a few hours alone at the mall. Seriously – I need that. But I work super hard so I can get it.
Seeking those small daily, weekly, monthly wins
Seeking those small daily, weekly, monthly wins really keeps my momentum going, and it starts to build. A win for me would be to follow up with someone today that I’ve talked to about doing what I do, and finally get an answer. When I say that, I don’t necessarily mean a yes, either. I just want something definitive from them. Another win might be finishing one of our new programs we have to offer, or to even get a group started with five names that are definitely in. That’s a win.
Another win would be to save a certain amount of money. That’s something I didn’t used to think about, but now it’s a big part of what we do. We have a friend that has a son going through a bunch of medical issues, and insurance can’t cover all of it, so they are stuck with that ten or twenty percent. A win for me is being able to give and help. That kind of stuff gets me excited. You can draw that however you want, but you have to find the small wins and feel like you are constantly moving forward.
Jimmy: I love that, because I know whether it’s business, weight loss, whatever, if you just look at it like a big gigantic mountain, you’ll always feel like you just haven’t gotten there yet. You know, maybe it’s just the fact that, for five straight days, you did plug in to that positive community or listen to that podcast. Some way, you gain momentum on a daily basis, and I love the idea of giving yourself little wins. Don’t discredit things as not being a big deal. You can make a big deal out of almost anything, and it’s amazing how much that little self fist-pump will keep you going.
Mindy: It is, and what also attributes is that I have set my need for recognition in such a different arena. I don’t really need for you to tell me I’m good. I need for my kids to look at me and think I’m a great mom. I need them to wake up and call me blessed. I need Lee to be proud of me. I need my mentors to be proud of me. That’s all I need. I don’t care if ten people on Facebook tell me how dumb and annoying my video was. I don’t care. If I reached even three people because of the dumb video… WIN! Score!
Jimmy: Another part of this I would like to hear from you is, even if you feel like you haven’t mastered this resolve, and haven’t completely shut up these negative thoughts, where do you feel like going ahead and really encouraging someone else, even if you don’t feel like you’ve mastered something.
Mindy: That’s a great question. So many people think that you have to be a professional and complete expert before you tell anyone else. All we really have to do is to have figured out something, or say it works for me. We have a team of thousands and I’m mentoring them every week. We do webinars, and videos, and I always tell them I don’t know everything, but that I do have certain things figured out. I may not know everything, but I can save them time here and there because I’ve already messed up and been through it. That, to me, is everything.
I have a list of over thirty people that we’ve helped lose over 100 pounds. To me, that’s psychotic. You don’t just lose 100 pounds, you change as a person. You start to realize and see how your small changes every day grow into weeks and months and you’re like, “oh my gosh, I just stopped eating 100 calories a day and it’s got me here.” That, by far, outweighs anything else, and all we have to do is encourage them. I want more for them, and better for them, even faster than I do for us, because there’s nothing like that feeling that you got to be a link in that chain to help someone.
Jimmy: I love this correlation between fitness and business. Because, as a 100 pound weight loss success story myself, and looking at where my business has grown, they’ve been very similar paths. These little tiny things that don’t seem like a big deal when you’re doing them are amazing when you look back and say, “wow, we’ve really come a long way.” Mindy, these are great tips, and I love that none of it is rocket science. You may be reading this and saying, “well that’s just simple.” To me, that’s the most encouraging thing, because it is something you can control. It’s not something that’s way out in the cosmos. It’s something you have control to create now rather than waiting. You can create this on your own, every day.
Mindy: It’s awesome, and one of the other things I wanted to say is that most businesses aren’t necessarily complicated. They’re simple. That doesn’t mean what you have to do to achieve is easy, but it is simple. That goes back to what I said in the beginning. It’s not so much what you know, it’s actually what you do or don’t do.
“It’s not so much what you know, it’s actually what you do or don’t do.”- Mindy Lawhorne (Click to Tweet)
In June’s version of success magazine, which you should totally get no matter what business you’re in (if only for the audio), it talks about the difference in what it takes to make things happen or not. It all goes back to the beginning. What is your decision. What is your resolve to even get started. It’s not about rocket science, it’s about your daily discipline in those little things you think are so silly. They actually do add up, and you become a fraction of the person you used to be, in a good way. The most intelligent person is someone who focuses. Focus actually means saying no to a thousand things and focusing just on a few little bitty things.
Jimmy: Mindy, this is fantastic. These are really things people can take away and put into play. As we wrap up here, let’s say you’re talking to that person that hasn’t gotten started or has but is really discouraged because the people they care about the most aren’t giving them the support they look for. What would you say to that person that’s on the brink of quitting to help them create resolve.
Mindy: Two things. First, find people that get you and are like minded. They don’t have to be in the same business, but they need you just like you need them. Seriously, find me or Jimmy. We believe so wholeheartedly that surrounding ourselves with the right people has changed everything. Jimmy could do a whole show on where he was and the people he used to see from afar who are now his friends. And it’s all because he started surrounding himself with those people.
The second thing is that most people quit right before they have success. They are on the verge, and they quit because they think they can’t take one more person saying no. Remember, they aren’t saying no to you. Push until you can’t get anything else out of it. As long as you can always see something coming out of it, you’re growing. Most people quit way too soon. Don’t quit! This is your life. Christmas is going to come whether you’re in your business or not. Why not continue to work on that plan B, because, if you quit… there is no plan B.
Jimmy: That’s so fantastic. You said it early: “There is no failure unless you decide to quit.” It doesn’t matter. There’s no timeline of when you have to see success. You don’t have to hit it at a specific time. Slow and steady wins the race. I’ve always said that’s how I’ve gone about things.
Connect with Mindy
When you do see that success, when you pass that hump, it’s SO rewarding, because you can say you did it. You can say you didn’t give up. Mindy, I appreciate you being here. There’s obviously going to be people checking out this show that want to connect and learn more about you, so how can they find you?
Mindy: The easiest way to find me is http://mindylawhorne.com. That’s got all kinds of stuff about our lives, what we’ve been through, and what we’re doing now. I’d love to talk to anyone, and that’s the best place to find me.
Jimmy: Awesome, we’ll add that to the show notes. Thank you so much for your time.
This has been another episode of training camp. I hope you’re loving these. I’m having a blast putting them together for you. If you’re loving what we’re doing, subscribe to us on Youtube, follow us on Facebook, or tell a friend so they can benefit from what you’re learning! Thank you again, and we’ll see you on the next episode of Training Camp.