Who are you spending your time with?
Hi. My name is Coach Jimmy and I have a question for you? Are your friends the reason you fail? Are your friends the reason you are fat? Are your friends the reason that you lack motivation? All this time when you keep blaming yourself and you feel guilty for not doing the things you say you want to do in life, is it really your friends’ fault? Let me explain what I mean.
Before getting started in business, I found myself as a three-time college dropout, I was a hundred pounds overweight, and living back at home with my parents in my early 20s. So, could I blame my friends for all of that? Yes and no and I’m going to tell you why part of that is yes.
I’ve been taught over the last nine years as I built a seven-figure business and got in the best shape of my life in my mid and late thirties, that you realIy are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. So think about that for a second. Who do you spend the most time with? Who are your co-workers? The person at the desk next to you in the next cubicle? Some of the people in your own house.
It also includes the people you hang out with online. Where do you spend your time? Is your Facebook news feed filled with a bunch of Debbie Downers? “I can’t afford it. This is why it doesn’t work.” Victim mentality. blaming other people. What kind of tv shows are you watching? What do you listen to on the radio? That counts as the people you spend the most time with and back in those days when I was a hundred pounds overweight, when I was the three-time college drop out that wanted to point at everybody, but myself for the reason I was failing.
The reason it was easier for this person to have success and, “Oh, of course that person is having success because they had XYZ,” and I never took responsibility for my own actions.
The people I was hanging out with, they had a lot of the same attitudes. They had a lot of the same attitudes of things are too hard, money’s hard to come by, I can’t do it, I don’t have motivation. “Oh, I ate clean for one day. Let’s all go to happy hour day two to reward ourselves for one stinking day of doing something well.”
It wasn’t a good group. It wasn’t going to allow me to ever elevate to where I wanna go because of who I was hanging around with.
So how do you change that? You will be saying to me now, “Jimmy, it’s my spouse. It’s my parents. It’s my roommate,” or “Hey, my boss is that person. I really can’t get away from that person all the time.”
Find People That Bring You Up
Man, that’s so true, but it doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. So what I had to do was double down on finding new people that really caused me to shift out of the current mind-set into something else and it’s never been easier to do that. In fact, hopefully, this video is doing a little bit of that for you right now. It’s causing you to think to make you take the step back and reflect a little bit on, “Where do I spend my time?”
For me I listened to a bunch of sports radio, I worked in the bar in the street for a while. All these people and those that work in the bar and restaurant industry, it’s a bunch of cash-in and a bunch of cash-out and everybody for the most part is really horrible with money. So it’s no surprise that I wasn’t any better with that I wasn’t any better with money either.
It’s always…you’re always just a victim, “Oh, I got a bad section. These people didn’t tip me well. I did this.” It’s always…you play defense all the time. My background as an actor, I could blame other people for why my career isn’t taking off or my agent is not giving me the right auditions. “Oh, that casting director hates me. This is this way,” it’s just…and whatever your industry is, it’s probably easy to play the victim mentality as well.
So what I had to do is double-down on listening and being around people that were doing and living the type of life I wanted to live.
If it was somebody that was fitter than me, I wanted to see how did they…how did they speak? What do they think about? How did they afford food that I thought at the time I couldn’t afford and the supplements, the work-out programs, and the gym membership? If I wanted to start a business and I said, “Well, I can’t afford to invest in my business. I can’t start this business,” well then I wanted to start collecting stories of people that were in my same situation and made it happen despite all their excuses. Despite being that victim that they made a decision somewhere else.
Find an Online Community
And that’s so easy to jump on YouTube and search. To jump on Google and search these things. You could really start changing who you hang out with virtually. Like that person may not know that you’re one of their five, one of the five people you hang out with. That’s gonna be the biggest change for you.
So what if one of those five people happen to be a YouTube channel that you subscribe to? What if it happened to be that podcast that you listen to every morning? And what’s funny is when I started to work on my mindset, instead of…I didn’t have any big dramatic conversations with my current friends and surroundings. Just as I was willing to be open to think different ways, to see how other people spoke about things, I started changing and, it was funny, those friendships just kind of fell on the way side.
Because I got dissatisfied with where I was. I was tired of moping and being a victim.
It wasn’t this big dramatic like “Well I can’t hang out with you because I’m trying to make my life better and you’re a pain in my ass and you’re the reason I fail.” You don’t want to have that conversation with people. That just ends ugly.
But you start working on you and you’ll find that you just don’t find the excuse to hang out with those people as much anymore. You don’t have the same things in common and sometimes you’re gonna get a little bit of a backlash. I did. “Oh Jimmy, you’ve changed. You’re different now. You’re doing that health thing. You’re starting that business. You’re one of those people now’.
And at first that really hurt, but then I got to thinking about it. When somebody said “Jimmy, you’ve changed.” You’re like, “Hell yeah I did and hell yeah I am. Because I got dissatisfied with where I was. I was tired of moping and being a victim with all you knuckle heads. I needed to change.” And sometimes those relationships they just…you don’t have as much in common. You’re not as the bar as much with them anymore. You’re not willing to play their pity party with them. You want to get away out of that out of that conversation as quickly as possible.
So I’m gonna encourage you find people online. YouTube show, podcasts, books, really start looking for people in your life. Who do you know in the office that does seem to be that person that’s always positive that probably gets on everybody else’s nerves? But there’s something different about them.
Make an effort to know that person more. Go to networking events where people are successful businesses who are doing the things you wanna do. Get around them, see how they talk. Your life will change so drastically. I really promise you that.
If this video has helped you just start think a little differently, helped you…maybe start thinking of the things that you could do that are possibilities for you, I’m just gonna ask you a favor. Like the video for me and then leave me a comment. Let me know who it is. Who are you adding to your list of five that’s gonna help you change your mindset and therefore change your life?
My name is Coach Jimmy. Hopefully today I’ve helped you elevate your thinking and therefore you get more done and achieve your goals a little quicker and hopefully I can be of some help to you.
I look forward to hearing from you. Until next time, keep moving.