Failure will always be part of our life, but that’s where we get our lessons from. Like they say “experience is the best teacher,” and my experiences can teach us how to get over our failures and start living our lives the way we want it to be. First, let it hurt and then second, take action.
Blaming others
Hi, I’m Coach Jimmy. If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know that my life didn’t change until I changed my morning routine.
I’m a former 100 pound, overweight, three-time college drop out. And I got really good at doing one thing over and over again throughout my life and that was pointing fingers and blaming other people for why I was in the situation I was in.
Like I mentioned I dropped out of college three times. And I’d have to work two jobs. I didn’t really have the money to go to school. So it was really easy for me to point to other people and say, “oh you know what, of course they’re successful. Look, their mom and dad pay their tuition, they have x, y, z.”
I could list all these reasons and say:
- “If I had what they had, I’d be successful too.”
- “If I didn’t have to drive an hour and a half to a job I hate,” or
- “If I didn’t have to get up this early and drive an hour to campus.”
You see, I had a lot of “if I had” in my life.
I was really good at blaming other people. And then I’d get in a situation and things wouldn’t be ideal, and then I physically would move. For instance, I started in Dallas, I went to Oklahoma, and left, and then went and worked at Disney World for a couple years. I left there and went to school in Florida. I really had nowhere else to go to the point.
The humbling awakening
I was in my early 20’s, and my parents were calling me saying, “we’re worried about you,” because of all the maxed out credit cards, the letters and the notices are going back home. I was completely humbled in my early 20’s for having to move back in with my parents.
So I was a 100 pounds overweight and a three-time college drop out. As I was coming out of the shower one day, I looked in the mirror, and realized there’s one thing in common. All these places that I’ve gone and failed that weren’t fair to me. It was the reason I didn’t succeed. The common denominator was looking at me in the mirror and was staring back at me and saying, “look Jimmy, it’s you. ”
It was me.
Reasons Are Well Designed Excuses
You have to change, and stop thinking and hoping something someday it will fix itself on its own. Maybe it’s your physical body, maybe it’s your mindset or maybe it’s that job you’re in. Maybe you want to travel more someday or do that thing you’re most passionate about. You scroll on YouTube and Instagram, and you see these people living a life that they want to live. Look how fun it is.
And then you say “I can never do that.”
And you start filling in the blanks.
“The reason they can do it and I can’t is because…”
Fill in that sentence with something in your head, one that really seems legit to you. It seems like an honestly good reason and maybe it is. But I think that reasons are just well designed excuses, and I know because I was that person.
- “I can’t have that body because…”
- “I can’t get out of debt because…”
- “I can’t travel…”
- “I can’t study what I want to study…”
- “I can’t do that because…”
- “I don’t know how..”
- “I don’t have the means…”
- “I don’t have the will power…”
- “I don’t have the motivation…”
At the end of the day, none of that matters. Somewhere along the way it has to hurt enough to move.
It must hurt enough to move
Les Brown tells a story about an old man sitting on a porch with his dog next to him. A young kid comes by and the dog is moaning and groaning. The young kid asks the old man, “sir, why is your dog moaning and groaning?” And the old man says, “well that’s easy, it’s because he’s sitting on a nail.” And the little kid says, “well why doesn’t he move?” And the old man says, “well it didn’t hurt enough to move, it just hurts enough to moan and groan.”
And I have to ask you: what are you doing with your life right now? Does it hurt just enough to moan and groan?
Do you say “hey, I don’t love my job but it pays the bills and it’s not terrible?” Do you hate where you are or do you feel like you don’t have much energy?
That’s true and there’s always people who are worse off than you, but that shouldn’t limit you from living what’s possible for you. I also didn’t know it was possible for me too, and it took people seeing stuff in me and speaking life into me. They’ve encouraged me and said “yes, you can.”
I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to wait for permission from somebody else. You can take a step. You can start something. It’s not going to happen overnight. You might not always feel motivated, but I tell you this: you can do it.
Change your life
So start creating some standards in your life. Start making some non negotiables. Change your life.
For me, I started with my morning routine. I went from a night owl, to ending my night at two, three, four a.m. in the morning and not getting up till noon because I just thought, “well this is just the way I am. I’m not a morning person.”
I’m somebody who now wakes up at about 4:30 in the morning with no alarm because I’m excited about my life. And I get up, and I listen to something positive, I move my body, and I journal. I live a life that I’m just stoked about and I feel like I get more done before most people are awake in the morning and I love it.
I want you to be as excited about your life, as I am about mine. To design it in your own way. I’d love to help you do that. And maybe that’s just, from changing your morning routine. If you want to see my morning routine, go to productivebook.com. I have it all laid out there. And my routine doesn’t have to be your routine. But sometimes it’s nice to look at what somebody else is doing, and pick out a few things.
I wanna know what it is? What is your ideal life?
Sit down with a piece of paper, and describe your ideal day:
- What time do you get up?
- Do you work out?
- Is there some journaling?
- A coffee?
- Do you move?
- Do you work?
What is it that you wanna do? Is it in music? Or fashion? Is it in travel? Fitness? Sports? Do you have a podcast? What is it? Are you philanthropic? Are you working in a non-profit?
I’d love to learn more and continue that conversation with you. I want to be your champion. I needed champions in my life to encourage me on, to say, “yes you can,” and I want to be that person for you. My name is Coach Jimmy, I’m in this with you. Until next time, keep dreaming, and take action.